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26 Angels: Remembering Sandy Hook

CBN

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Five years ago I was standing in CBN’s Washington newsroom watching, with my mouth agape, the horrific pictures coming out of Connecticut. Twenty little boys and girls had just been gunned down in one of their safe places: school.

Much like police officers, firefighters and first responders – journalists see, hear and cover lots of horrible events and for better or worse often grow numb to the hard realities we witness.

That day, I couldn’t hold back the tears as they ran down my cheeks.  

My bureau chief walked into the newsroom and, looking sideways at me, asked, “Who’s going?”

I immediately raised my hand. One of our videographers quickly followed suit.

It was eleven days before Christmas and while it occurred to me that I hadn’t finished shopping for loved ones I figured they would understand.

We arrived in Newtown, Connecticutthe next morning.

As we drove into town the grief was palpable. Just days earlier this picturesque New England town had gathered as a community to light the town Christmas tree and celebrate the season. Now 20 of the little kids who were likely so excited about the magic of the season were gone. Gunned down by evil.

The first place we stopped was Saint Rose of Lima Catholic Church, which was the epicenter of both grief and comfort for so many. That church alone handled eight of the funerals. Some of the children who were murdered, the killer’s mother and the killer all attended church there.

Outside people took turns, trancelike, visiting a makeshift memorial. Inside church members fell to their knees in worship and grief.

Those days many churches kept their doors open 24 hours.

Memorials were EVERYWHERE.

I was especially moved by one we passed on a hillside along one of the town’s main throughways. It was 26 angels, each about a foot tall cut out of wood. Seeing 26 separate memorials all gathered together helped passersby really absorb the number of people that had just been eliminated. Thinking of it now brings tears to my eyes.

Our second stop was Sandy Hook Elementary.

That day I wrote, “A steady line of pilgrims walk the hill towards Sandy Hook Elementary to remember the 26 students and brave teachers who died there.”

People from across the community, the state, and the nation were drawn there. Once my colleague and I walked to the top of the hill towards the school we saw Christmas trees had been erected and decorated for the victims. A sea of flowers, teddy bears and candles poured off the trees onto the ground.

“People come and go, but the feeling of sadness never leaves,” I wrote.

I met a man named Yousef Hatter who was making the pilgrimage with his six-year-old son.

“We don’t know why things happen, but they do happen unfortunately. There is evil, there’s an abundance of evil in this world and we have to confront it,” he told me. He was right.

The other dynamic was watching parents of students who had survived the shootings or who had students at other area schools. The looks on their faces were ones of wretched relief.

“I called my friend and we felt so bad saying this, but we’re like, ‘thank God it’s not our kids’ school, thank God,’” Charisse Ventresca, a Newtown resident told me.

Outside of the overwhelming feeling of grief, the other thing that stood out in town like a sore thumb was the number of news crews.

We had descended on the idyllic town like vermin. Crews were pulled over on the sides of roads, roaming the streets with their cameras, even recording through windows of churches to capture the people inside.

The day my crew arrived the townspeople were incredibly gracious – welcoming the media, offering us coffee and interviews. They saw us as part of the ‘help’ that had rushed in during their darkest hour, the people who would tell the stories of the remarkable people who had died and the families they left behind. A few days later it was clear we had all worn out our welcome.

It’s a story I’ll never forget; most importantly I’ll always remember the precious lives that were lost there.

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