It's Just a Flesh Wound

Years ago, a friend was telling me about a scene from the movie, Monty Python and The Holy Grail. A character has one arm cut off and then the other, but keeps saying things like, “It’s just a flesh wound! No problem!”

Even though I didn’t see the movie myself, I’m often reminded of that scene when I’m being honest about my personal struggles with unforgiveness.

As a passionate follower of Christ, I know the dangers of unforgiveness. Matthew 18:21-35CloseMatthew 18:21-35 "No, not seven times," Jesus replied, "but seventy times seven!* "Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars.* He couldn't pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt. "But the man fell down before his master and begged him, `Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.' Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt. "But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars.* He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment. "His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. `Be patient with me, and I will pay it,' he pleaded. But his creditor wouldn't wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full. "When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, `You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn't you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?' Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt. "That's what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters* from your heart." OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) records the parable about a man who had a great debt forgiven, only to fail to forgive someone else. His punishment is harsh.

I know I am required to forgive when someone hurts me. My problem is, I often don’t want to admit that I have been hurt. 

Like the man in the movie, I say, “It’s just a flesh wound ... really nothing!” I end up harboring bitterness and resentment way down deep in my heart, simply because I am unwilling to admit I have been hurt.

I think the problem is, I don’t want to face the fact that once I choose to love someone, I am also giving them the power to hurt me. Such vulnerability is scary. To think I can be wounded by criticism or rejection from someone I care about is sometimes a reality I want to run from.

I want to be invincible to such hurts. The problem is, I’m not invincible. And no one who loves will ever be safe from harm. After all, it was Christ who loved like no one else and the result was unimaginable suffering.

So, we have to choose. The only way to be protected from hurt is to love no one. And that’s not a real choice. Being hurt will always be part of living in a fallen world.

I attend a church that uses liturgy as part of the worship service. Each week, we confess that we have “sinned in thought, word, and deed, by what we have done and what we have left undone.” 

Sometimes I need to make another confession – for me a much harder one. “I confess that I have been sinned against.”

My pastor is faithful to remind us often of the scriptural teaching from Ephesians 4:26-27CloseEphesians 4:26-27 And "don't sin by letting anger control you."* Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt) warning us to not let the sun go down on our anger. I have let many suns set while failing to forgive, simply because I didn’t want to admit I was hurt.

Ephesians 4:27CloseEphesians 4:27 for anger gives a foothold to the devil. OPEN VERSE IN BIBLE (nlt)  ends with the words, “... for anger gives a foothold to the devil.”  It’s a sobering reminder of the results of harboring unforgiveness.  A warning that I hope I can remember the next time I am hurt by someone I love.