When Your Child Hates School

My youngest daughter struggled with going to preschool from the start. I eventually removed her from the class because it seemed more like torture than fun. We are planning to place her in another school. Still, I can’t help but think maybe she is just not ready.

Sadly, my eldest daughter seems to have caught the same attitude toward school. Every morning she fights with me about going. She says she does not feel well or that other children are mean to her. The excuses are the same every single school day. It made me if perhaps I was doing something wrong until a friend mentioned that her child feels the same way about school.

I have to admit it is a long day for my daughter, more than eight hours and then she has plenty of home work every night. For first grade, this seems like a lot. At the same time, I know the value of a good education. We tried homeschool, but that is just something I can’t handle on my own.  She is better off in the hands of trained educators.

In trying to understand why my oldest daughter is against school, I am helping to make the experience better for her. Here are some of the helpful strategies we have used:

Contact your child’s teachers and/or principal to determine if your child is in fact being bullied at school. If it is true, they will become distracted from learning and likely develop insecurities.

Also, address possible learning disabilities if your child is having a hard time grasping lessons at school. As a child, I had learning disabilities and felt very out of place as I had a hard time keeping up. Let your children know that they are OK and that we all have our own strengths and weaknesses. Feeling as if you are not able to do the things your peers do academically can be very hard on a child. Ease their stress by working with them through their problem.

Perhaps your child is more advanced than his or her classmates and is simply bored. If this is the case, it is best to discuss the possibilities of moving up a grade or a program for “gifted” students.

Talk to your children about their day. At dinner, ask them what they liked the most about the day. If they say it was terrible, challenge them to recall a few good things, maybe a new friend or a good grade, or even a fun bus ride home.

Be careful not to feed into their bad day! This is very important. Do not agree with them about not liking school. Support them; but do not condone gossip or badmouthing classmates or teachers.

Pray with them in the morning and at night about their school day. Show them God cares and that you are invested in what they do.

Have them make a chart of goals they want to accomplish in the future. Then, explain how education and God’s favor can help to get them there someday.

Does your child struggle with going to school? If so, how do you handle it?