Plumb ‘Fights’ to Revolutionize the Way Women Communicate

While touring with Big Daddy Weave in 2016, acclaimed singer/songwriter Plumb made a startling realization.  Despite her recovery from a “bottoming out” period in her life that included the restoration of her failing marriage, the Dove Award winner was still struggling to find authenticity in her life.  It was uncomfortable for her but she figured out that she could never move forward until she started facing these feelings eye to eye.  So, she did.

This painful process subsequently led Plumb into a season of wanting to share these hard-earned lessons with others. And what a better way to do so than through her craft.  In June, she released her eighth studio album, Beautifully Broken, a collection of 11 new songs highlighted by the hit title track.  And now, as summer slowly fades into fall, comes Plumb’s second book, Fight for Her: Even If You Have to Fight Her, a moving challenge to women that explores fundamental questions and issues that every girl and woman face.

I recently sat down with Plumb to discuss why it is so important for a person to demonstrate authenticity in their life, the tremendous value of a good mother/daughter relationship, and a new venture that could revolutionize the way women communicate.

This is shaping up to be a big year for you with the new album Beautifully Broken as well as your book, Fight for Her: Even If You Have to Fight Her. Based on what I read it seems like you missed the class for girly things.  Yet, here you are with a book for women.  What was the catalyst for writing it?

I realized in parenting my daughter that I was fighting for her but sometimes to do that I was fighting with her.  My mom did the same with me.  I was sort of catching myself doing that with my daughter and realizing that I really gave my mom a run for her money.  There was a long time that I wasn’t friends with my mom because she cared more about my holiness than my happiness.

The book was inspired by a conversation I was having with my daughter when she was about two or three years old.  We were having a little conflict and I remember resolving it by saying, “I will fight for you even if I have to fight you, young lady!”  And I realized in my parenting of her as my daughter, I am heavily influenced by the way my mom parented me as her daughter.  So, I sat down initially to write a book for mothers and daughters but the Lord convicted me about that because He said this is a book for all daughters, all women. They are all daughters and some of them didn’t have your mom, some of them didn’t have your dad, some of them don’t have a daughter much less than the one you have but you have a story to tell.  You have some experiences and some wisdom to share.  It’s a book to revolutionize the way women communicate.

So back in the day when you and your mother would do battle was there a lingering resentment that followed?

Yeah, I wasn’t getting my way.  I was being told no.  I couldn’t wear this, or date him, or go there or whatever.  I wanted to do what I wanted to do because it felt right, looked cool, or tasted good.  But my mom, who is now my best friend, had the wisdom to know the difference between what is not good for me and what is best.

As we have been discussing, perhaps a woman’s most important relationship is with her mother.  You are a daughter and a mother.  What qualities from your mother and your daughter work together to make you a better person?

Wow, that’s a good question.  I would say that they both know me very well.  They both do want good for me.  They want God’s best for me actually.  And even my daughter at nine years old, and my mom at 71 years old, they are wired similarly.  They are both helpers.  They don’t like or need the limelight.  They are both incredibly supportive of me and very proud of me.  They are both extremely quick to speak the truth.  Sometimes it doesn’t sound like love but when it’s true it’s the most loving thing they can do.  So, they are both tremendously important in holding me accountable to who I believe I was called to be.

Each woman’s path and purpose is unique.  What are some ways for a woman to stand out without doing something she will regret later?

A woman needs to be so incredibly true to herself because of how unique that is. That’s the key.  And that is almost impossible to do without good community.  I call it social capital.  It is one of the most valuable things you can have in your life.  There are so many people left and right who say, ‘I don’t have good community,’ or ‘I don’t have any community at all.’  No one likes my response but it’s your fault. If you don’t have good community than it’s probably because you haven’t been in a great community.  Now hold on, that’s ok because you get to start over right now.  If you are reading this and you haven’t been in that community … pause.  Let’s start being that.  And one way to do that is to get to know people and to let them get to know you. And what does that look like? If someone had a baby take them a meal.  If they are moving go help them pack a box.  If somebody doesn’t feel good check on them.  If someone is not doing very well financially take them to lunch.  Have them over for tea or coffee.  Hear their story.  Listen to them.  Get outside of yourself and serve someone.  Love someone and let them hear your story back.  And that give and take suddenly forms something called a relationship.  When you need that relationship it’s going to be there.  And it’s the same relationship that may be the one that speaks truth to you in love.  It might save your life and vice versa back.  That’s where you begin the opportunity to fight for each other even if you have to fight each other. You start with community.

I think a lot of what you are talking about can be attributed to authenticity, or the ability to be totally honest with oneself.  Why is it so important for a woman to demonstrate authenticity in their life?  

It’s important to demonstrate authenticity 100 percent of the time.  All of the time.  When we don’t we are the lesser for that.  God’s kingdom doesn’t suffer for that because God doesn’t need us.  He wants us.  And when we are trying to be someone that we are not we are the one missing out. I spent a long time in my life doing that.  I spent a long time projecting something that wasn’t real even though I wanted to be about truth.  God has used my life despite me as He does with all of us.  It’s about making a difference in someone’s life.  For me, I cared about being famous and rich.  But I was saying otherwise.  And when I finally got to the end of myself I hit rock bottom. But it was still solid ground.  But God used this.  He was still there saying, ‘Ok, begin again. Start again.’  So, I began again.  If you are reading this you might be saying to yourself, ‘I don’t even know where to start.’  It’s ok.  God’s kingdom has not suffered because of your mistakes or your sin or your lack of awareness.  Not at all.  You’ve just missed out so now you get to jump and join in.  So, here’s a starting place.  Take one step forward to say I want to be part of what you are doing.  Before you can even finish that prayer He is there and has forgiven you. He is going to open your eyes to opportunities to love people and serve people.  It may not be all about you.  He will give you a chance to be real.  And the thing is that your community around you starts to help you see who that is.  Honestly, sometimes we don’t really know who we are.  We have an idea of who we are but we are not really sure how people see us.   But overall, I think that whatever brokenness you have that everybody sees or the brokenness you hide, or only you and Jesus know about it, or even brokenness that you are not even fully aware of … all of it God can use for good.

So, this theme of brokenness is a great segue into talking about your new album, Beautifully Broken.  The two projects seem to go hand in hand.  What can you tell me about the record?

In 2016, I spent 11 months, 120 shows out on the road with Big Daddy Weave.  It was right after writing the book, Need You Now, and telling everyone my life story. A major component of that was where my marriage fell apart and came back together.  And just being in that season I discovered a lot of my brokenness.  I realized that I was hiding from myself and everyone else. And I get out there, and let me just say it was the most beautiful and productive experience of touring and spiritually edifying that I can’t speak enough about them and how beautiful they (Big Daddy Weave) are. And they pray with people.  They put their hands on people and the audience and love on them skin to skin.  They just grab people and hug them.  I was very uncomfortable and it was hard for me.  I felt like I was having to face pride because of everything not being about fame and fortune.  Now I was in it for the right reasons but I still had this arrogance about me. I wanted to be authentic.  I don’t like how this feels.  I don’t like that I should want to pray with you but I don’t want to pray with you because I feel insecure about praying with you.  Anxious, insecure, prideful, all of these things, I started facing eye to eye.  It was very uncomfortable. A form of therapy for me is the song writing process.  So, I started writing while on tour with them, which I don’t normally do.  I normally write (new songs) after a tour.  This theme of brokenness just kept coming up.  Brokenness.  Brokenness. Brokenness.  Some of it would be mine.  Some of it would be other stories that I would encounter from other people or friends.  And I realized the thing that all the brokenness had in common was that some it was self-inflicted but some of it was not.  But all of it is brokenness.  It’s painful and it’s sharp.  It hurts.  But all of it has value to the kingdom of God.  And we get to choose to give it to Him or not.  I chose to give.

Final question, after people read the book and after they hear the record, as an artist what is your greatest hope for these projects?

I say this when I talk about the book more specifically that it is about revolutionizing the way women communicate. I hope these projects can do just that.  I have something in the works that I haven’t even talked about in an interview.  You are the first.  I am starting something called Tea Time Revolution.  It’s taking that hope, that revolution of the way we communicate with one another and putting it into tangible form and making it an experience where women come together.  It’s not another conference.  It’s an experience that you have to come together and empower one another in a unique way.  And I feel like this record and this book and the overarching theme of connectedness in all of that is going to give birth to the Tea Time Revolution.  Tea represents teaching, empowerment, and advocating.  There are different aspects of that experience where women will be taught some things that maybe they didn’t know.  Ultimately, I would like to see women empowering one another and then learning how to be an advocate for one another.

Watch the video for Plumb's latest single, "Beautifully Broken":