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Becoming the Woman She Was Meant to Be

People today know Venus Burton as a Christian rapper.

“Now, free, I’m free. So a little rapping to it, ‘No more shackles, no more chains.’”

There was a time people knew her by a different name.

“They would call me Booski, Booski love.  Now, that was one of my rapping names. Underground rap, gangster rap, I was more of an outlaw. well, ‘you don't mess with me. I won't mess with you,’ kind of thing.  And so in my songs back then, there was a lot of pain that I went through.”

Venus grew up in southern California.  She lived with her brother Kenny and her single mom, Vicky, who worked several jobs.  They didn’t see a lot of their mother or wayward father.

“I always wanted to be a daddy's girl, and I thought that I was cheated," says Venus. "Why couldn’t I have that? Why couldn't I have a father? And so that caused me to rebel. And I got angry and those different emotions began to control my life.”

Venus was 13 when her mom gave her life to Christ and started taking them to church.  At the same time Venus also started rapping, which helped vent her anger.

“I had to pour it out or, you know, to empty myself, to get rid of it. So I would do it in the music, you know, to get that relief or to get that satisfaction that I was yearning for.”

By 16 Venus was drinking often.  She also decided to hide her feminine side. “Because it shows a soft side of me.  It shows the emotions.  It showed things that I was going through, the hurt and the pain that I was going through, that I was dealing with.” She started changing the way she cut her hair and the clothes she wore.  She looked and acted more like a man with each passing day.

“Because I wanted to be that aggressive one.  I wanted to be the man role. I wanted to be the one that was in control. I wanted the one that had the power.”

After two years, the transformation was complete, as Venus became attracted to women.

“In this lifestyle, I was accepted. You know?  So I found acceptance.  I found that security.”

Venus continued as an underground rap artist, her popularity growing each year.  In the meantime, she had numerous relationships with women, and all ended badly. “The loneliness, the betrayal of friends and you know, people that I thought that loved me so much, or even being in the relationship. I was drinking so much that I would black out, didn't know places that I was. I found myself in some really dark places.”

All this time, her mom Vicky prayed continually for her daughter, hoping she’d find a way to Christ.” There were times I’d go and put on her shoes and walk and pray in them.  Take anointing oil, anoint her room and believe God.

At times, Venus also reached out to God. “There was something in me that I would always pray to God,  seeking God.  I know you're real, but I need you to show up, I need you to show up now.  You know, I’m tired. I’m tired of being who I was.  Didn't know how to get out, didn't know if it was a way to get out.”

One afternoon while watching  an alarming story on the news, Venus thought the world was coming to an end, as well as her life.

“I remember I said, you know, ‘God, save me. Save me from this lifestyle. I need you to take this away from me.’ And as I prayed to god he instantly took away the desire of wanting to sleep with a woman.”
 
“His love and his compassion for me.  I just felt so much lighter.  I felt free.  I mean, I felt like the chains were broken off of my life.”

It took time, prayer, and god’s healing but Venus embraced her identity as the woman God created her to be.

“In my process he was unveiling, unpeeling me just like an onion, you know?  Every layer, every hurt, every pain that I was going through, every disappointment and they were just coming off one by one.”

Venus and her mom joined forces and minister to hurting people through their radio show.
That emptiness, the void that I was missing, Jesus, he fulfilled that, that void, that-that emptiness that I was feeling in my heart.  He filled it with his love, his love and his compassion for me. And that-that was really uh the ultimate healing for me to have God Almighty as my Father.”

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