Sticking With A Broken Marriage
FILLING THE VOID
Vicki met Billy, both 24, in their residential building and were married on February 4, 1977. “I thought if I got married and had enough money, I would be happy,” says Vicki. However after one year, Vicki was still unhappy. “The emptiness I thought would be filled wasn’t. I didn’t know what to do with it,” she says. Billy started a sports bar and was there every night. His life was filled with drugs, alcohol and women. “I was so angry at Billy. I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t want to be home with us,” says Vicki. While on vacation with their family, Vicki thought about how lonely she was and how she and Billy had no life together. Two weeks after they got back, Vicki asked him to leave after ten years of marriage. “I told him I loved him, but I couldn’t live the way we did anymore.”
A year and half later, Vicki was invited to a black-tie dinner hosted by Nancy DeMoss where the United States Secretary of the Interior Donald Hodel and his wife were scheduled to talk about Christianity in the world today. It was an opportunity for Vicki to dress up, so she went. They shared things she never heard of before. “I heard a couple tell their story of addiction and that their lives were changed because of a relationship with Jesus. After the dinner, they offered everyone an opportunity to receive Christ. “My life completely changed that night in the grand ballroom at the Waldorf Astoria,” says Vicki. The next week, Vicki began attending a Bible study at their house and learned about the God of the Bible. “The Lord gave me such a hunger immediately for His Word,” she says. “Finally all that emptiness I tried to fill with my job and marriage was gone.” Then Vicki started to pray for Billy to know the Lord.
CHOOSING TO STAY
At the time, Billy was living 2 blocks away with another woman. Their son, Douglas, said, “We need to pray for daddy.” So they prayed that for 3 years. “I wanted Billy to know the Savior and the peace and joy that a relationship with Him brings,” says Vicki. While praying for Billy, Vicki realized her heart towards him was softening. While they were separated, Vicki says God provided for her family. In December 1990, Billy attended a Christmas dinner hosted by Mrs. DeMoss and gave his heart to the Lord that night. Billy knew that accepting Christ wasn’t the only thing he needed to do. He still needed to kick the cocaine habit. Six weeks later, Billy checked into a drug rehab and went through counseling. He finally moved back home in 1991 after 5 years of being separated.
“I want people to know it’s been hard work; we experienced a lot of challenges, but we both came to the place where we were both fully committed,” says Vicki. “Now our children are believers. God has blessed our attempts of obeying him. I lived my own way for 34 years. When I accepted Christ, I was done with my ways,” she says. Their marriage isn’t perfect, but they have a solid friendship and a healthy inter -dependence. “We have a comfort with each other that could come no other way. It’s because of the trials, not in spite of them. God walked us through it.” She reminds us in Ps 91:4 that His faithfulness will be your shield. “I encourage women that God can restore what has been broken and can transform people.
“He is the restorer and the repairer. He wants us to trust him,” says Vicki.