14 Years of Trying to Build Family

“I have always wanted to be a mother.   It consumed my every thought.  It consumed our lives, trying to start our family.”  When Logan and her husband, Dave, married in 2004, both hoped kids would be a big part of their lives. But after 2 years of trying without getting pregnant, Logan sought medical advice. She recalls, “I had been diagnosed with PCOS, which is polycystic ovarian syndrome. So, it's very stressful. I felt like it was a big delay in us sort of starting our family.”

OBGYN, Dr. Francis Esguerra, explains. “What we have is, we have a problem with ovulating, but more importantly, we have a lot of large cysts in the ovaries. It's one of the main causes of infertility.” But it wasn’t just Logan. She says, “We found out that Dave also had sort of a component to male infertility as well.” Dave remembers, “It was kind of tough to swallow. I was angry. Angry at the situation, frustrated.”  And Dr. Esguerra believes, “If I had to put a number on it, I’d probably say less than 15% chance of getting pregnant on their own naturally.”

Right away Logan started fertility treatments.  But the months turned into years with no success. Dave recalls, “Pretty tough, to be honest with you not to be able to get pregnant and stuff. And to see Logan go through it is even – was even worse.” Logan said, “We would pray that the Lord would just show us what our next step was to be.”

Finally, in 2009, there was a glimmer of hope.  Through in vitro fertilization Logan became pregnant with twins.  She remembers, “I can remember just praying to the Lord, ‘Please,’ just begging Him, rocking back and forth in my bed praying to the Lord that-that this would the one. And then it wasn't.”  After just one week, Logan miscarried. She says, “I can remember being so disappointed and upset with God, like, ‘Why me?’  You know, questioning His plan.” Dave recalls, “Just wanted to – throw in the towel and give up. Because it was tough.” And Logan prayed, “Why would you give me this deep desire and this passion to be a mother and Dave to be father, and then not deliver on it?  But then I would hear the Lord say, ‘No, no, no.  I gave you that desire, it's gonna happen’.”

They decided to turn to adoption. Logan remembers, “Our first adoption attempt unfortunately, the baby passed away.   The second adoption attempt, the mother decided to keep the baby.”  Dave said, “You can only get beat down so many times and it's – sometimes it's easier to give up, and that's what we almost did.” Logan recalls, “I just really felt the Lord saying, ‘Do not let this situation and the enemy steal your joy. You cannot let this infertility define you’."

So, in 2016 Logan began to focus on her health. She lost a lot of weight and stopped obsessing over her infertility. Instead she concentrated on the blessings in her life and drew closer to God. Dave remembers, “We kind of didn't really give up on having a baby, but it wasn't consuming every minute of the day.” Then in late 2017, Logan noticed some physical changes.  After about 12 weeks she decided, on a whim, to take a pregnancy test. It was positive, so she took another one, and then another. Logan said, “You’ve got to be kidding me! It, too, was positive.  And the amount of joy in my heart at that second was unreal.”  

Fourteen years of disappointments made Logan and Dave cautious. So, the next day she went for an ultrasound.  During the exam Logan shared their story with the technician.  Logan recalls, “She literally gets tears in her eyes, and I'm thinking, of course, ‘Oh, no.  Oh, no.’  You know, it's not good.” And Dave says, “Well I thought this is how, this is it, you know, this is the end of this journey.” Then Logan recalls, “Well, she flips this screen around, and she goes, ‘Logan and Dave, not only are you pregnant, but you are 12 weeks pregnant with a healthy little baby’.  And we were just instantly tears, you know, flowed. It was just such a joyous moment for us." Dave remembers, “I was flabbergasted. I was like, wow, this is it.” Logan believes, “If you are gonna have a miscarriage, it's typically in that first trimester. The Lord knows I would worry during that first trimester, and He thought, you know what, ‘Logan, you are gonna be pregnant, and I am gonna zoom you through your first trimester, so you are not to worry’."

On September 11, 2018, Logan gave birth to a healthy baby girl, Harper Lynn. Dave remembers, “I was nervous but as soon as the doctor put her in my arms, just all the nerves went away, so. Pretty neat.” Logan recalls, “My heart was just so full, I was so thankful to the Lord for finally delivering on that promise and for giving Harper to us.” Dr. Esguerra remembers, “When I delivered Harper, that's one of the great honors of my life. There wasn't a dry eye in that OR. I thought about how not every child will be loved as much as this child.” Dave says, “I love being a dad. It's neat to come home, especially, you know, she's getting to that age where she smiles, and she knows who's coming in the door.”  Dr. Esguerra believes, “With the infertility issues that Logan and Dave had faced together, I would definitely call Harper a miracle baby.” Logan says, “Sometimes things don't happen overnight, and things take time.  That's because the Lord's putting together the plan, the perfect plan for you. So, keep praying and someday you'll have a beautiful masterpiece that the Lord has prepared especially for you.”

Read more on the family's blog.