Luana Stoltenberg: Forgiveness for Abortion

CBN.com "My life was in this vicious cycle. It was like I was caught in a trap and kept going back to the same disgusting things I always knew to do. There was no hope."

Luana Stoltenberg was 16 when she first got pregnant.  She married the father of her baby, but sadly the first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage.  Within a year, the marriage ended as well.  So, with no baby and no husband, Luana celebrated her newfound freedom with more partying and sexual encounters.

"I thought I’m going to get on the pill, and this is not going to happen again," Luana tells The 700 Club. "But when I was 17, it did happen again. So my girlfriend told me about abortion. I had never heard of abortion. Never had a clue what it was. I drove to the abortion facility with my boyfriend.

"They basically just suction that baby out of the woman’s womb. Limb by limb. I did feel that deep inside this is wrong. It had to have been a baby. So I kept trying to get up, lift up from the table. I kept trying to see what was in this jar that was to my right. But I knew, deep in my heart, that that was my child.

"I became very, very promiscuous. I hated myself, so I thought the only way someone is going to love me is if I give them reason to love me. So it didn’t take much longer at all. It was just a few months and I was pregnant again. I had two more pregnancies and two more abortions."

Luana doesn’t remember much about the second and third procedures. The pain was too deep, the guilt too heavy and the shame too severe. She never told a soul and buried her secret deep inside.

"I even tried to kill myself three times after I had had all the abortions. I just didn’t see a way out. It wasn’t until my mother had come to know the Lord. I remember one conversation on the phone with my mom, and she said, 'Luana, I love you so much. I can’t think of a single thing you could do that would cause me not to love you. Even if you killed somebody, I’d still love you. How much more does God love you. He created you.' I thought, Oh Mom, you have no idea. It was more than just killing someone. I killed my own children. It was the first time I heard that Jesus would forgive me of something that horrendous."

Luana went home that weekend to her parents' church and accepted Jesus Christ as her Savior.

"When I asked the Lord into my heart, I felt a cleansing. I felt a newness, like I really felt like this was going to begin something new in my life."

Then Luana met Steve. He was a Christian, and they soon married. She says, "I never really dealt with the abortions until my husband and I wanted to start having children. As we were trying, we were having no success."

Luana realized the impact the abortions had had on her body and spirit.

"We did find out that I couldn’t have children and I realized I was infertile. Coming to that realization that the only children I was going to bear I had killed was an astounding reality. I remember so many nights just lying in bed and I would just rock. My husband would hold me, and he would keep saying, 'I forgive you. I forgive you.' I knew that the Lord had forgiven me, but I just could not forgive myself."

Then in 1990 the Stoltenbergs adopted a little boy from India. "We named him Zachary because Zachary means precious gift from God. And he was. I think every day, Wow, God,  You’re so good. I messed up how many times and the Lord still gave me another chance."

Today, Zachary is grown. Luana ministers to other women and their families, who are hurting from the scars of abortion.

"We have had over 50 million abortions since Roe vs. Wade in 1973. You are not alone. You are not alone. The Lord loves you. If you come, the Lord has forgiveness for you. He has healing for you, and above all else, He has love for you.

"He has literally taken me from the very pit and the depths of my life and given me new life. Not just new life, but life abundantly. He’s filled me with joy. He exceeded every hope or dream I could have even had for my own life. That’s who Jesus Christ is to me."

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