Matthew West: 'Something to Say'
CBN.com Life was good for Matthew West. Having catapulted onto the Christian music scene in 2003 with his debut single “More” — the most played Christian AC song of 2004 — the multi-Dove Award nominee and sought-after songwriter had enjoyed two critically-acclaimed studio recordings, Happy (2003) and History (2005). He has been a mainstay at Christian radio with memorable hits like “Only Grace,” “History” and “Next Thing You Know,” and toured with TobyMac, Jeremy Camp and BarlowGirl. In April of 2007, with a new label home at Sparrow Records, concert dates on the books and plans to hit the studio with a fresh batch of songs for an album he’d already titled Something To Say, Matthew lost his voice.
After one look at his vocal chords, doctors at the Vanderbilt Voice Center immediately put all his plans on hold. They discovered a vascular polyp and hemorrhaged blood vessels on Matthew’s vocal chord, making it impossible for him to sing. His doctors were convinced only two courses of treatment would work: complete silence and surgery.
“Everything came to a screeching halt,” Matthew says of the diagnosis and the news of surgery. “All of a sudden, my calendar was completely cleared. My studio plans were postponed. My life shut down.”
Even worse, he says, was the frustration of not being able to communicate with his wife, Emily, and 1-year-old daughter, Lulu. “I was armed with a dry erase board, unable to do the little things we take for granted everyday, like talking with my wife, or singing to my little girl before bed.”
Still, Matthew chose to have the surgery, hoping he would someday be able to resume his singing career as one of contemporary Christian music's newest stars.
This season of silence wasn’t just a wake up call for the Matthew; it was a dark, uncertain place. He recommitted himself to journaling his thoughts and prayers during his season of silence.
“Solitude is an uncomfortable place, and silence is so unnatural for most of us,” he relates. “I found myself surrounded by questions like, ‘What if I can’t sing anymore? What if my voice doesn’t sound the same? What if I can’t provide for my family?’"
He was plagued with other questions like, "Am I a singer not allowed to perform in concert? A husband who couldn't say, 'I love you' to his wife? A father forbidden to sing his baby daughter to sleep?”
As the days passed, Matthew found himself frustrated and questioning God's plan. Yet, at the same time, that period became one of the greatest periods of growth in his Christian faith.
“It was foundation-shattering, but over and over again, I felt this recurring message on my heart saying, ‘Cease striving…don’t even ask for answers, just be with Me. Be still. I am using your voice, even when you can’t hear it,’” said Matthew.
The name of his next album, which was in the works before the surgery, was ironically, Something To Say. Looking back at that time when he didn't know if his career as a singer was over, Matthew reflects, “I was forced to think about maybe not singing again. I'm not a single guy with no responsibilities. I had a family to think about. So I made a list of other skills I had. That's when I got really scared. It was a short list.”
Matthew says he had always been a determined person, and he refused to give up. “I had faith it would work out,” he said. “I also repeated the words to the Bible verse in that says, 'You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength.' I told myself I could make it through this surgery, therapy, whatever, because I am promised strength beyond my own from God.”
Most of the songs on Something to Say were written before Matthew’s surgery, but in many ways, it took this trial to fully understand their meaning. The track “The Motions” is a song that captures the struggle Matthew experienced during his surgery and after. During that time, he realized that he didn’t want to go through the motions of life. He didn’t want to spend the rest of his life regretting that he didn’t give everything he had.
“Prior to this experience, I only had a glimpse of what these songs had to say, but having literally nothing to say for two months, it was as if I understood what these songs were trying to communicate all along. It’s like writing messages or taking notes and then taking the test to see if you really ‘get’ what you’ve written. Sometimes you’re given the message before you know what it means. Then the test comes, and you can see how God intended everything to be,” he said.
Matthew believes that his life purpose is to display his wealth of weaknesses and to reflect the power of God. “There's a lot of character-shaping that goes on when life hands you broken pieces,” he said.
After two months, Mathew's voice gradually returned. Something To Say was recorded after his recovery and released in 2008. Matthew says he is completely healed. The week of the album's first release, Matthew was the best-selling Christian artist on iTunes. “I have a different perspective of what defines us now,” he said. “So many times I thought success was putting my best foot forward. Now it's important to me to get up on stage and communicate that I don't have it all together, but God is showing me my purpose.”
Matthew's song, “The Motions” has pulled in a huge audience across the country. The song prompted a national campaign that extends beyond radio, and included a devoted web page where fans could voice their commitment to “avoid the trap of simply going through the motions.” Hundreds of people have shared their “Motions Resolution,” and many have commented on how the song has changed their way of thinking. “Every day I visit the 'Motions' community, I am blown away by the hundreds of people who have been inspired to rise above whatever their circumstances may be, and say 'I will not go through the motions,' said Matthew.
