Pat Williams: Happy Spouse, Happy House

CBN.com A DIFFERENT MARRIAGE BOOK
Pat wrote this book because he sees marriages struggling.   He sees the struggle with men especially.  Pat usually gets calls from couples when everything in the marriage is falling apart.  He wants this book to be a preventative, especially for young men.

Pat says part of the problem of why marriages aren’t doing well is that partners don’t know the fundamentals of what makes a winning marriage.  Many married couples today have never seen it being modeled in their own homes growing up.  They come from broken homes, and no one is there to show them the proper way.

THE B.E.S.T. GAME PLAN FOR MARRIAGES
Pat and his wife Ruth have done a lot of reading on the subject of marriage. One of the best books they have read, which is also the foundation for Happy Spouse…Happy House, is a book by Dr. Ed Wheat, Love Life for Every Married Couple.  Pat credits this book for transforming his married life.  As a physician, Dr. Wheat was puzzled that he could not find any medical reasons for the ailments of many of his female patients. Upon further exploration, Dr. Wheat found that all of these women had one thing in common: they were all in unhappy marriages.  His book says that if even one spouse in a marriage is committed to their relationship, it can be restored.  Even if your spouse has “fallen out of love with you,” you can win him or her back.  Dr. Wheat believes that every Christian marriage should be the best the world has ever seen, and he broke these principles down to the acronym B.E.S.T.:

Bless Your Spouse

Edify One Another

Share Your True Self

Touch Your Spouse in Body and Soul

Bless your spouse in word and deed means not just saying “bless you” or speaking a blessing over someone.  It means there needs to be action behind the words.  If a man or woman wants a great marriage, he or she must learn to bless their spouse daily by encouraging, pleasing, and praising him or her. 

Edify one another is also broken down (Encourage, Delight, Involve, Fulfill, Yield).  Encourage. Always be kind and gentle to your spouse.  Remember, he or she needs to know that you value and respect him or her.  Delight. Every spouse should delight in one another.  Examples of bringing your spouse delight is sending a gift, taking him/her out, surprising them with tickets to an event he or she would enjoy.  Involve.  Involvement means actively listening and talking to your spouse.  Fulfill.  Husbands and wives should help each other fulfill God’s plan for each other’s lives – they should help each other achieve their potential to the fullest.  Yield.  Live in a yielded, forgiving state.  Accept an apology when it’s offered, then forget it.  Don’t compare your spouse with others.  Be aggressive with your forgiveness.

Share your true self with your spouse.  Get to know your partner.  Go beyond the superficial.  Take an interest in your spouses interests, and find common interests as well.

Touch your spouse in body and soul.  Men and women need affection.  Give your spouse the affection he or she needs.

Pat and Ruth have applied these principles to their own marriage and found they really work.