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'For the First Time...I Actually Told God How I Felt': How 3 Miscarriages Led Carrie Underwood to a Faith Showdown

09-17-2018
Carrie Underwood
Carrie Underwood
Country music recording artist Carrie Underwood has announced exciting news: she's expecting! But the singer is also revealing that the journey to baby number two has truly tested her faith.
 
The country superstar shared on Instagram earlier this month that she and husband Mike Fisher are expecting their second child.
 
In a recent interview with PEOPLE, Underwood detailed the devastating losses she suffered through three miscarriages.
 
The singer told PEOPLE that the year 2017 didn't turn out how she imagined it.
 
"I had planned that 2017 was going to be the year that I work on new music and have a baby," Underwood said. "We got pregnant early 2017, and it didn't work out."
Underwood said at first it was easy to lean into God and rely on her faith.
 
"In the beginning, it was like, 'Okay, God, we know this just wasn't Your timing. And that is all right. We will bounce back and figure our way through it,'" she said.
 
Underwood said after suffering a second miscarriage in 2017 and a third in 2018, she began to question God.
 
"At that point, it was just kind of like, 'Okay, like, what's the deal? What is all of this?'" she said.
 
She continued, "I had always been afraid to be angry because we are so blessed. And my son, Isaiah, is the sweetest thing. And he's the best thing in the world. And I'm like, 'If we can never have any other kids, that's okay because he's amazing.' And I have this amazing life. Like, really, what can I complain about? I can't. I have an incredible husband, incredible friends, an incredible job, an incredible kid. Can I be mad? No."
 
Underwood then revealed, "But I got mad."
 
She said one night she was in bed with her son Isaiah, crying and praying like never before.
 
"I was sobbing and just asking, 'Why on Earth do I keep getting pregnant if I can't have a kid? Like, what is this? Shut the door. Like, do something. Either shut the door or let me have a kid,'" Underwood said.
 
She continued, "And for the first time, I feel like I actually I told God how I felt. And I feel like we're supposed to do that."
 
Underwood said it was that following Monday she went to the doctor where she thought they'd confirm another miscarriage but found out the baby was okay.
 
Through tears, she cried, "He heard me."
 
Underwood said her latest album, "Cry Pretty," which released Friday, spoke to all the downs she experienced last year.
 
"Throughout the whole process I was writing, literally right after finding out that I would lose a baby I'd have a writing session," she said. "I feel like there's several songs on the album that I connect within a totally different way because of those experiences we went through, and they were hard and it sucked so much... but things are looking better."
 
Underwood will kick off her "Cry Pretty Tour 360" in May 2019 following the birth of her new baby.

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