Pulpit Pressures: Why One Pastor Popped Pills Before Preaching

Pastor Steve Hoppe is speaking out about the pressures that pastors face and sharing his own story that reveals just how bad pulpit anxiety can be for some pastors.

The author of a new book, Sipping Saltwater, Hoppe says he's struggled with anxiety since he was a teen. But 10 years ago, at the age of 27 as a new pastor in New York City, he found himself "absolutely terrified" before his first sermon.

He knew his audience would be filled with high-profile professionals including bankers, Broadway actors and university professors.

During a regular visit with his psychiatrist, he explained his fear of having a panic attack during his first message in his new church and she recommended an anti-anxiety medication and an anti-depressant along with a beta-blocker to slow his heart rate a little.  

The problem? Hoppe took triple the dosage she recommended on the day he preached and stood in the pulpit "high as a kite."  

Eleven years later, Hoppe continues in the ministry and tells his story to explain the performance pressures that pastors face.  

He wrote about the experience in a Gospel Coalition essay last week and says he's received a tremendous amount of feedback from those in the pews who haven't understood the stress their pastors experience.  

"So many people have talked to me about their lack of awareness that pastors are under a tremendous amount of pressure," Hoppe told CBN News.

That pressure, said Hoppe, is often fueled by criticism from the congregation.  

"It is not uncommon on a Monday morning to receive scathing e-mails from people that you're ministering to and loving well and preaching to about how you performed on that Sunday – what you said, your gestures, the tone of your voice, one thing that you could have possibly said that offended them," said Hoppe.

Hoppe said that pastors can easily begin to worship the approval of their congregation, since their job security is tied to it. For Hoppe, the warning signs included his extreme drug use on that one Sunday combined with an excessive amount of time spent on sermon preparation. It wasn't unusual for him to work on sermons for 40-50 hours a week.  

Hoppe said that for him and many pastors, the key to avoiding the trap of worshipping the congregation's approval is aligning with the reality that God is your ultimate audience.  

"You're preaching to an audience of One and ultimately you're answering to One and that One is calling you to preach out of a heart of love, not out of a heart of trying to impress these individuals," said Hoppe.

Those in the pews can do their part as well. Hoppe suggests sending a word of encouragement on a Monday morning and to avoid gossiping about your pastor.