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'Go die every1 wuld be happy.' Digital Self-Harm: Kids Posting Anonymous, Hateful Messages to Themselves

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As responsible parents are trying to figure out whether their kids being bullied online, they now have to deal with the possibility that the hateful messages might be posted by their own children. Mental health experts say a small number cyber-bully victims are at the same time, the perpetrators. 
 
Similar to youngsters who harm themselves physically by engaging in behaviors such as cutting or anorexia, researchers discovered teens are now participating in digital self-harm. That means they anonymously post awful messages about themselves to their own social media. It looks like the source of the bullying is someone else, but in reality, it's the work of the victim.

"Drink bleach." "Kill urself." "Go die evry1 wuld be happy."

These horrible messages appeared on the social media of a 14-year-old girl who later, tragically, committed suicide. At first it appeared her death was the direct result of cyber-bullying from other adolescents. But upon closer examination, investigators discovered she actually posted vicious comments about herself to her own social media.

She's not alone.

According to a survey of 5,500 teens published in the Journal Adolescent Health, about six-percent of them engaged in digital self-harm, also known as self-cyber-bullying. About half of them said they did it just once, about a third said they did it only a few times and 13% regularly posted hate-filled comments about themselves on their own social media, mesages that appeared to be posted by someone else.

Those who admitted to self-cyber-bullying gave three reasons:
1. Self-hate: They felt bad about themselves and wanted to feel worse.
2. Get Attention: They wanted their friends to defend them online.
3. Cry for Help: They hoped someone would reach out to them.

Margie Barilla told CBN News she understands all too well the motivation behind this type of self-harm. She used to cut herself.

"I absolutely see the parallel between physical self-harm and digital self-harm." she said, "In both cases it's a reflection of inner challenges kids are facing, a lack of being filled spiritually," she said.

"Self-harm is a way for teens to say, 'Hey mom and dad, I need you to be focused on me.'"

Barilla said after receiving help for her own self-harm, she began dedicating her life to educating people about self-harm and founded The National Mental Health Community Symposium

She said a key problem is too many teens are seeking social acceptance from their media presence, "How many followers do I have? How many 'likes' do I have?'" than face-to-face, interpersonal relationships. 

A good way to begin cultivating meaningful, one-on-one relationships is for families to start eating meals together, around a table, with no media, where everyone silences their phones and puts them in a basket. Then "reassure the child, 'you're good.'" 

She said, "Kids need to get the answers to life from home," instead of online, adding they
"need to see themselves the way God sees them, and develop a 'God first, me second' attitude."

"If you don't have the strong confidence grounded in The Word, you're more likely to develop self-hate," she said. 


 

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