"It was happening so fast," said Shirley Ruffy as she recalled the day her five-year-old son Joshua was horrifically murdered in her home.
It was 2009 and a seemingly normal afternoon when all hell broke loose.
"That morning before lunch time Joshua was playing with his father," she said. Joshua was the couple's only son.
"My life started to turn upside down when Joseph came with a long serrated kitchen knife and he was trying to decapitate Joshua. And in the process of that I was trying to save Joshua, and so the knife that was cutting through his neck, and flesh, and bones, was cutting through my hands and my flesh and bones," Ruffy explained.
Ruffy said her husband murdered their son because he "didn't want him to lose his salvation."
"I saw that Joshua was no longer one piece and I just remember supernaturally being lifted out of there because my hands were so cut up that I could not open up that small doorknob to the outside," she explained.
Ruffy's physical wounds from her attempt to save her son's life were so severe, she couldn't use her hands for five months.
Watch Our full Interview With Shirley Ruffy
During that time, God began to work on her deep emotional wounds.
"There were times when I just wanted to die. There were times when I wanted to get into the car and just crash it or grab a bottle," she said. "I was afraid to go another day because I thought something worse than this would happen."
Ironically, her wounded hands made it impossible for her to act on her self-destructive thoughts. So, she turned to Jesus.
"I initially felt left alone and forsaken. But I know that at that time there was only one way I could continue life, and that was running to God and straight to his heart."
Ruffy dove deeper into the Bible than she'd ever had before. She clung to several scriptures including Romans 8:28: "And we we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him."
However, she couldn't understand why a good God would allow her to witness her child's murder at the hands of her own husband.
"I was holding on to that and saying 'this is so terrible, so horrific, how can you turn this to good?'" Ruffy recalled.
While she knew she may never have her questions answered on earth, she knew she could rely on one thing -- God's heart.
"What I knew about His heart is that it is good and its kind. And that I knew that when I was going through this he was grieving with me too...I had to know and believe that God is bigger than what happened," she said.
Years later, her husband was released after spending time in a mental institution. She says she forgives him.
"I had already long before forgiven him for what he'd done. That's not something in my own strength that i was able to do. That was by the grace of God," she explained.
Today, Ruffy uses her testimony to help bring healing and encouragement to others who have lost family members.
"You are not alone," she said, addressing those who may be grieving too.
Ruffy also encourages them to cling to Jesus and know that he cares about them.
"God is not only present, he's personal," she said.