General Bible Courses > Living by the Book > Families by the Book
Familes by the Book: Final Exam
Summary
Key Scripture: "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" (Matt. 6:33).The words of the Great Commission echo down to us across the centuries: "Go and make disciples of all nations...teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you" (Matt. 28:19-20). Like the virtuous character qualities we have studied, the knowledge of Christ is essentially "caught rather than taught" from those who are his disciples.
Our Key Scripture underscores the importance of seeking the Kingdom of God. To become a disciple of Christ means to enter this Kingdom (Mark 10:15). Put another way, Christ's disciples are those who have had the power of the kingdom enter them. They know his redemptive rule in their lives. They experience the reality of God pressing in upon their hearts, enlivening their consciences, and inviting them to action.
What we have learned in this course should equip us to pass on the knowledge of God to our children. Our ultimate goal has been discipleship. The first step to virtue is to love virtue in another. This should be our aim as parents: to impel our children to see Christ in us. We must train youthful emotions so that such vision is possible.
We have studied a great deal of material in the past thirty-three lessons. Many of you are probably wondering if you can master and use it all. Of course, the more technical aspects of this instruction will require a second or third listening and reading. But the basic principles should already be changing your parenting approach. In summation, Drs. Selig and Arroyo have suggested six attitudes that can increase our sensitivity to the discipleship needs of our families. If we adopt these attitudes, God will bring to our remembrance what we need from these lessons.
- 1. Be available. Practice being physically, mentally, and spiritually attentive to your child (and your spouse). Be alert and observant without being intrusive and controlling. Monitor your children, but allow them to experience the natural consequences of misbehavior (Matt. 21:28-32). At the same time, watch over them and protect them from serious error. As Dr. Arroyo puts it, "Permit them to fall, but not to fall off a cliff." Demand righteous behavior from your children while allowing them to take risks.
- 2. Spend more time encouraging good behavior than criticizing bad behavior. The "2 to 1" rule does not apply just to Level 2 children. The battle for self-esteem is a battle that is never entirely won.
- 3. Watch for signs of discouragement and helplessness in children. This is especially crucial during the teen years when children are seeking acceptance from the opposite sex. Do not allow an attitude of defeat to become a permanent feature of your child's personality. Lack of self-esteem is the seed from which passive dependency and addictive behavior develop.
- 4. Help children be realistic about their strengths and weaknesses. Your newly-gained ability to identify spiritual gifts can prove of great value to your children. Help them discover who they are and where their talents lie. In this way they can begin early to capitalize on their strengths and to deal creatively with their weaknesses. Simultaneously, teach your children that their worth as human beings does not derive from their talents nor from their social standing, but from Christ.
- 5. Listen attentively. To know your children deeply, you must be in touch with their dreams, hopes, and fears. As children get older, they confide their intimate thoughts and feelings more rarely and in less obvious ways. Prepare to have a ready ear when these moments of disclosure come.
- 6. Pray continuously for patience and wisdom. Do not be disheartened by your failures; learn from them. Make deepened understanding and commitment your goal, instead of a problem-free family life and flawless children. Keep a spirit of restoration alive between family members. When you make mistakes, admit them and ask your spouse and children for forgiveness.
The Joy of Family Unity
An often quoted theological guideline is:
In essentials, unity;
In non-essentials, diversity;
In all things, charity.
By learning to "love our differences" we make room for unity and diversity within the family, while also teaching charity (love). We encourage both individuality and character growth by creating an environment in which our spiritual gifts can function creatively to the glory of God. In this way we establish stronger families and happier children, and, ultimately, build up the body of Christ.
"Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass" (Ps. 37.5 KJV).
Take the quiz
Quiz Instructions
Final Exam: select the correct response based on the lessons and concepts.
1. Mutual __________ makes unity in diversity possible within the family.
Submission
Love
2. God has made __________ a prerequisite for success in every area of life.
Belief
Unity
3. Biblical discipline is best understood as __________.
Teaching
Correction
Discipleship
Punishment
4. Out of habits, __________ is born.
Strength
Character
5. The tendency of parents to pass their negative characteristics on to their children is called __________ sin.
Generational
Curse
6. The inner capacities that "flavor" our personalities and form the foundation upon which they are built are __________.
Character
Spiritual Gifts
7. Level 2 children equate attention with __________.
Approval
Love
8. The "2 to 1" rule means that parents should express approval for Level 2 children twice for every time they __________ them.
Discipline
Spend time
9. At Level __________, children are motivated primarily by the desire for self-gratification and the fear of punishment.
Two
One
10. Children begin to internalize the values of their parents at Level __________.
Two
Three
11. At Level 1 parents should exert __________ discipline so that their children can develop internal discipline.
External
Strict
12. Level 1 children are best motivated by __________.
Authority
Love
13. Level 2 children are primarily motivated by __________.
Praise
Approval
14. Level 3 children are primarily motivated by __________.
Love
Respect
15. The fruit of the Spirit are virtues or character qualities, while spiritual gifts are special __________.
Abilities
Qualities
16. To misuse our spiritual gifts, according to Matthew 25, is self __________.
Destructive
Ish
17. The __________ personality type has the ability to empathize with diverse types of people, unify them, and encourage creativity in them.
Promoter
Server
18. Insecure Level 1 and 2 children (and adults) can be most appropriately helped by someone with the gift of __________.
Mercy
Authority
19. Those with the gift of __________ can help Level 3 individuals make the transition to Level 4.
Prophecy
Grace
20. The __________ personality overrules on control or dominance.
Server
Ruler
21. "Dying to self" means that we __________ our communication style.
Adjust
Use
22. True communication involves __________ listening, not just passive reception.
Some
Active
23. When a Designer or Server becomes "passive-aggressive," they __________.
Passively do whatever is asked
Are visibly angry
"Drag their feet"
24. The __________ personality type over-relies on logic.
Designer
Promoter
25. The __________ personality type over-relies on routine, security, and the status quo.
Promoter
Server
26. The __________ personality type over-relies on enthusiasm and charisma.
Promoter
Ruler
27. The __________ personality style has a responsive, supportive, and easygoing sending style.
Server
Promoter
28. In listening, the __________ personality type is oriented toward theories, concepts, and principles, and asks the question, "Does this make sense?"
Promoter
Designer
29. In teaching children at motivational level 1, use the style of the __________ personality type.
Ruler
Designer
30. The __________ personality type has an enthusiastic sending style, and listens for expressions of approval and commitment to their ideas.
Promoter
Ruler
31. The __________ personality type listens for facts and asks, \"How can I use this?\"
Server
Ruler
32. In teaching children at motivational level 2, use the style of the __________ personality type.
Promoter
Server
33. Any act of correction by a parent may be either punishment or discipline depending on the __________ level of the parent.
Maturity
Motivational
34. A Ruler child needs a more intrusive style of discipline than a Server child, even if they are both on the same motivational level.
True
False
35. Spankings are likely to be __________ if the child is too young, too mature, or if spankings are administered inconsistently.
Ineffective
Effective
36. A positive __________ is the key for superior performance in all children.
Self-Image
Correction
37. According to Hebrews 12:10, God disciplines us so that we might share in his __________.
Holiness
Love
38. Children who learn self-control have learned to delay __________.
Gratification
Addiction
39. The stage at which internalization begins to occur: __________.
Keeping
Doing
40. Repetition is vital at this stage: __________.
Keeping
Learning
41. Definitions, examples, and Bible references: __________.
Hearing
Keeping
42. The tangible results of virtue are understood: __________.
Hearing
Doing
43. A teacher at a low motivational level can damage a child's __________.
Self-Esteem
Love
44. Fill in the blank with the correct letter: It is helpful for your child's teacher to know what __________ works best for them.
Teaching and learning style
Discipline technique
Work environment
All of the above
45. In learning to ask and receive from the body of Christ, the single parent blesses those who minister to them.
True
False
46. The key strategy to creating a successful stepfamily is to work at being a __________ first.
Couple
Parent
47. Every choice our children make is guided by the __________ they have internalized.
Rules
Values
48. Character is developed as virtues become __________.
Habits
Impossible
49. Parents can delegate the task of educating children, but not the __________.
Responsibility
Nurturing
50. "In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, diversity; in all things, __________.
Charity
Unity
