Chapter 8: Teaching Your Children Christian Stewardship

• Learn and model four important financial principles for your children.
• Train your children in the steps of financial decision making.
• Teach your children how to make a budget and manage their money

Key Scripture: For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. -Romans 15:4.

**The material in this chapter has been condensed from Ron and Judy Blue's book, Money Matters for Parents and Their Kids (Oliver-Nelson Books, Nashville TN, 1988). The authors write out their own experience teaching stewardship to their five children. You can benefit greatly from reading the book, which gives suggestions for teaching your children how to become financially independent, how to make sound investments, and even how to recognize a financial scam.**

Teens are one of the most affluent groups in society today. Total expenditures by American teenagers almost doubled between the years of 1976 and 1986, despite the fact that there were 5.3 million fewer teen in 1986. Teenage spending has been called the "green machine" because it has increased every year since 1953 despite recessions and even the drop in the size of the group. Even more important than what they spend is their tremendous influence on the family's budget--from entertainment, eating out, and clothes to big ticket items such as automobiles. Several important teen attitudes toward money and possessions were revealed in a Rand Youth Poll. Spending on and by teenagers will reach $208.7 billion in 2011, up from $189.7 billion in 2006, according to Packaged Facts' "The Teens Market in the US" report. The spending increase is expected despite an estimated 3% decline in the 12-to-17-year-old population by 2011. The vast majority of America's young people labeled themselves and their peers as wasteful in shopping, spending, and saving habits. 

Teen financial problems seem to be related to an uncertain economic environment, poor training, and a lack of good role models in the family, in the church, and in national leadership. Few parents are trained adequately to manage money; therefore, they feel ill-equipped to teach their children. However, modern parents still have the same call and promise as previous generations:

God has called you to be a good steward. "Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful" - 1 Corinthians 4:2.

God has called you to train your children. "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it" - Proverbs 22:6.

God has promised to complete the good work he has begun in you, "Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" - Philippians 1:6.

Christian Financial Principles

Parental modeling of financial principles influences children far more than any teaching. Four financial principles that should be modeled in every Christian home are:

God owns it all. "Although the whole earth is mine, you will be for me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation" - Exodus 19: 5-6.

To teach your children that God owns it all, you must demonstrate prayerful decision making in your own life. Show your children that you control financial resources instead of being controlled by them. The most significant demonstration of that freedom is in the area of tithing and giving. Let them see that the tithe is not simply returning to God "his share."

Recall the deed you signed in Chapter 1 committing ownership of your resources -- money, home, time, etc. -- to their rightful owner. Suggest that your children sign a similar deed. Give regularly as God has prospered you. Be a channel to meet the needs of others. Encourage even young children to give regularly from their allowances. 

A trade-off always exists between time and effort and money and rewards. "Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously" - 2 Corinthians 9:6

Many people spend their lives pursuing the illusion that you can get something for nothing. The Bible makes it clear that work is the only way to provide for ourselves economically. We must work because we are commanded to. Child should not be paid for every job that they do around the house since they need to experience the satisfaction of obedience. Work has value in and of itself above and beyond its economic benefit. The self-satisfaction of having done a good job provides a further motivation to work; therefore, satisfying work is a self-perpetuating process. As Solomon said, "All hard work brings a profit" -Proverbs 14:23

There is no such thing as an independent financial decision. "After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need" -- Luke 15:14

Once money is spent it is no longer available for any future use. Three facts are important to remember: (1) There is a limited supply of money; (2) You cannot have everything; and (3) Your current spending decision will impact all your other goals.

Delayed gratification is the key to financial maturity."Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate" -- Proverbs 31:31

Financial maturity, as you may recall, is giving up today's desires (short-term) for future benefits (long-term). Teaching children the importance of delayed gratification is better "caught" than "taught." One way to emphasize this principle is to require that your children maintain a savings account. A portion of all money they receive should go into the account. They should be allowed to make withdrawals for major purchases such as a bicycle or stereo. This serves two purposes: (1) They will enjoy the thrill of buying a desired object by saving for it, and (2) They will quickly learn that their resources are limited. Delayed gratification may be the most difficult principle to teach, but it is biblical, practical, and well worth the effort. The caution, however, is to be balanced in your perspective of money, for money is nothing more than a resource. Accumulation of money should not be the only objective in life.

After determining the principles you want your children to learn, allow them to practice specific skills. A principle is a general rule that transcends specific situations while a skill applies a principle by repeated practice. Let your children have responsibilities and allow them to learn from their mistakes. Give them money to manage. By the time the young person is ready to leave home, he or she should have developed four financial "How to's."

• How to develop a one-year spending plan (budget).
• How to buy wisely.
• How to make financial decisions.
• How to set financial goals.

Teaching Decision Making

There are three common traps that must be learned before beginning the decision-making process. The first one is the binary trap, which I have only two alternatives. (Giving yourself only two alternatives may leave out the best choice.) The second pitfall is the intuitive trap in which a decision is made on how you "feel" about it. The final one is the voting trap in which you make a decision solely on a survey made of your friends. After recognizing these three dangers, you are ready to go on to the decision-making process.

• Write out or verbalize this decision.
• List the objective.
• Prioritize the objectives.
• List all possible alternatives.
• Evaluate all alternatives.
• Choose the best alternative.

Chart 8-A, "Decision: Choosing a College," is an excellent example of how to list your objectives and prioritize them. Look this chart over carefully.

Worksheet 8-A, "Making a Decision," allows you to practice making your own decisions. Stop now and practice your own decision-making skills.

In teaching your children to make short-term decisions, frequently point them toward their real objectives and priorities. Continually ask them, "Are there other alternatives?" Once their decision is made, give them feedback by asking questions such as, "Did it really accomplish our objectives?" or "Would another alternative have been better?" As you guide them through the process, you must stop making decisions for them. Give them the freedom to learn through their failures (and successes) while you are still available to help and counsel them. 

Buying Wisely

The important skill of buying wisely is not easy to teach your children in an easy-credit society. However, with a love of patience and perseverance, you can do it. Some helpful hints include: (1) letting them share in the decision-making process when you shop, (2) giving them counsel and the freedom to fail in their buying decisions (3) having both scheduled and spontaneous family conferences, and (4) allowing them to participate in the repairs and maintenance of the home and the cars. 

Life Application:
For the sake of your children and grandchildren, prayerfully and faithfully make a serious, long-term commitment to train your children in financial management. Record your agreement here.

Key Scripture: "Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up" (Deut. 6:7).  

Teaching Goal Setting  

Goals are specific steps, when achieved, by which you accomplish the purposes of your life. Goals, therefore, are measurable. A well-defined goal provides direction, but without it you will never know if you have arrived. Since goals are also powerful motivators, it is crucial that Christians set the right ones. A goal which is future-oriented is a statement of God’s will. Because of this, many of your real goals may not be financial. For example, you may desire to support a friend on the mission field, and financial planning will help you to meet that goal. Goal setting, like every other skill, must be practiced to be perfected.  

To set goals:  

• Spend time with God.
• Write your impressions in a journal.
• Record a specific goal. Make the goal measurable.
• Make the measurable goal visible.
• Outline the steps for action.
• Review.  

Worksheet 8-B, "Goal Setting," provides an example for setting goals. A space has been provided for you to write down one of your goals. Try to follow the seven steps in order.  

Modeling is extremely effective in teaching. "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children" (Eph. 5:1). As a proper parental role model, you should, first of all, have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Examine yourself to see exactly what you are modeling. Be unified with your spouse regarding goals, priorities, and decisions. Try to understand your own unique role in your marriage and family. Make sure your plan is long-term training, not simply short-term crisis management.  

If you are a single parent, you must assume the role of both parents. In some ways, teaching money management to your children is easier if you are single. There is, for example, no conflict or inconsistency between parents. A difficulty arises, however, because you have no support from an equally committed partner. Nevertheless, your children have the same needs as if there were two of you.  

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it" (Prov. 22:6) The two key words in this verse are train and old. Teaching and training are not synonymous. Teaching deals with the intellect, but training deals with the will. When children understand what they must do, they have been taught. But when they choose to do what they should do, they have been trained. Some Bible commentators suggest that "old" refers to the age of puberty. So for real training to occur, Scripture suggests that you start early and finish before the turbulent teen years.  

To train your children in money management, you must first commit yourself to the project. Your commitment should be coupled with an abiding faith that God will provide the wisdom you need at every step. Success will not come immediately, for the training process is long. It requires dedication, hard work, and perhaps an investment of your dollars. But the rewards for living by faith and training your children to be good stewards far offset any difficulties you may encounter.  

Jesus, the Master Teacher, modeled four principles in Mark 6:7-13; 30-31, that may be applied to the training of children:  

1. They must experience what is being taught. If you want your children to learn to manage money, give them money to manage. Children must experience for themselves the joy of giving, buying a new bicycle, or watching a savings account grow.  
2. They must have an opportunity to fail. Since failure is a part of life, each child must have the freedom to fail. Children who are allowed to fail in their early years will learn to cope, and thus not be devastated by future failures.  
3. They must have feedback. Feedback is extremely important to children "trying their wings" in money management. It is best to allow them to make choices according to their own judgment and values, as long as they do not conflict with predetermined family standards. This is a time for encouragement, not criticism.  
4. They must have rewards. Rewards are one source of feedback that are great motivators. Jesus promised rewards to his disciples if they would persevere (John 14:3).  

Children should be paid for doing additional chores such as ironing, washing the car, or babysitting. Spending time with you as you walk them through their training is still another very important motivation for children to work. But allowances should never be payment for chores. Neither should allowances be taken away as a disciplinary tool. And you certainly should feel free to give your children money for no reason whatsoever. This teaches them that our heavenly Father is gracious—giving us gifts that we don’t earn or deserve.  

Rewards for your children can be as simple as a gold star on a chart, time spent alone with a parent, individual praise, or praise in front of other family members. Giving money as a reward should be approached with great caution. The person to whom it is offered should not be manipulated or bribed in any way. There is a technique that works better than offering a reward at the completion of a skill. As Dr. Bruce Wilkinson told us in his course, "Surveying the Book," "The fear of loss of a reward is a greater motivator than the promise of a receipt of a reward."  

Developing a One-Year Budget  

Another version of the cookie jar method (mentioned in Chapter 1) is the envelope system, which is especially good for teaching children to budget. (For an in-depth discussion of the envelope system, listen to Tape 8, Side 2.) To begin, give each child a recipe file box containing five envelopes labeled Tithe, Save, Spend, Gifts, and Clothes. A weekly (biweekly or monthly) allowance in cash is to be placed in each of the envelopes according to a preset plan. The amount designated for each envelope comes from an annual planning session with the parents. As children earn money or receive gift money, they deposit it into the envelopes. At first, children are required to put ten percent into the Tithe envelope and an equal amount in the Save envelope. And they may borrow from one envelope to another with the exceptions of the Tithe and Save envelopes.  

Families must decide each child’s responsibilities in the various categories. The most important thing is not what children are responsible for buying, but how they handle the responsibility of managing the money. They must know exactly what they are responsible to pay for, and that when the money is gone there is no more.  

Now is a good time to review the budget worksheets. Worksheet 8-C, "Clothes Budget," Worksheet 8-D, "Spend Budget," Worksheet 8-E, "Gifts Budget," and Worksheet 8-F, "Monthly Plan" are all found at the end of this lesson. You will need to spend ample time completing each one. You may need to add new categories or delete some existing ones. The budget should fit your child, not someone else’s.  

Perhaps your child habitually makes the mistake of spending their entire clothing allowance in October and having no money left for a winter coat. You can deal with this problem of poor management in one of several ways: (1) You can reduce the responsibility for necessities such as shoes or school lunches; (2) You can provide for major purchases such as coats; (3) Your child can live with the consequences—wearing last year’s coat; or (4) Extra money can be earned for the purchase.  

By age eight or nine, a child can handle five envelopes. The simpler the system the better, so do not encourage them to have more than six or seven envelopes until they reach college age. By using the envelope method, you will teach your children the two necessary elements in any budget—a plan for spending and a system of controls. Before implementing the envelope system, be sure to check the following items:  

• Discuss the system with your children and make sure they understand their responsibilities.
• Review the budget worksheets and set the allowance amounts for each child.
• Give your children the envelopes and file box with the money already inserted in the envelopes for the first period.
• Be flexible.  

Some of the benefits of your efforts will be that:  

• The Lord will be pleased that your children are responsible and godly adults.
• Your children and grandchildren will be good stewards of God’s resources.
• Conflict with your children over money will be more easily avoided.
• Your children will make wise financial decisions.

Life Application:
Complete this self-inventory. Be sure to answer honestly. Those things that cannot be answered positively should be resolved quickly.

1. Do you have financial goals for the next year, five years, and beyond?
2. Do you have a spending plan for the next twelve months? 
3. Do you know the amount of your debt?
4. Do you have a plan to pay off your debt?
5. What would happen to our family financially if you lost your job or income?
6. Are you tithing and giving?
7. Do you ever spend impulsively?
8. What does your lifestyle communicate regarding your value system?
9. Are you saving and investing for the future?
10. Do you have a will?
11. Has your will been reviewed within the last 2 years?
12. Is the family breadwinner adequately insured to provide for the family in the event of death?
13. Do you and your spouse ever disagree regarding money matters?  
14. If someone did not know you and had a copy of your checkbook for the last ten years, what story could be written about your life. 

Audio Teaching A

Audio Teaching B