Skip to main content

Freed From the Bottom of a Bottle

Share This article

“When I looked in the mirror, I really didn't see anybody special. Just somebody who existed.” As a socially awkward child suffering from depression, Jason Lindsey had only a few close friends. He says, “I had very little self-confidence because of the depression and, you know, my self-esteem was very low.” Jason started coming out of his shell around junior year but despite having new friends and a social life, he still needed an escape which he found in alcohol. He recalls, “When the weekend came, I could run away from my depression and my anxiety that I suffered with, with drugs and alcohol. But throughout the week I was still the down and out good school kid, who just couldn't stand to look at himself in the mirror.”

Around that time, he also met a girl.  Jason remembers, “For the first time, I was in love and, you know, of course, we were gonna be together forever.” Then, two years later, right after she left for college, she broke up with him. He says, “That was the end of that and it devastated me. And if I was had a depression that I suffered with before, it was magnified probably ten times after that happened.”

He started hitting the bars with friends on the weekends, but for Jason, it turned into an every-night affair. He says, “It made me just outgoing, like – you know, instead of shy and in a shell, I was ten foot tall and bulletproof.” It was at a bar he met someone else. After dating awhile she got pregnant, and they decided to marry. Now with a family, Jason couldn’t afford to go to bars, but that didn’t stop him from drinking. He recalls, “I got into the cheap bottom-of-the-barrel vodka that came in the plastic bottles at a half-a-gallon for $10.99. That is the moment that I realized that I could not go without it.”

At 24, Jason was a new dad and a full-blown alcoholic. He remembers, “Well, I knew I needed to stop, but it was kind of just a little more, just a little more, you know. And then I'm gonna say, ‘Hey, I'm not gonna drink like I did, but just enough to take away the shakes and the DTs, just enough to take the edge off.’ But it was never enough.” Still, he could function, and his wife tolerated the drinking.  Then, after six years, Jason learned he had pancreatitis and his liver was failing.  But he continued to drink…so his wife took their daughter and left.  He says, “Now alcohol was a medication to numb the pain. I despised myself. I got to the point to where I didn't really care if I lived anymore.”

Doctors told Jason that without a liver transplant, he would be dead in two years, sooner if he didn’t put the bottle down. Jason remembers, “To stay on a transplant list, I'm going to have to just clean up my life. I don't want to clean up my life. Because I just didn't care. I had failed at everything in my life, in every aspect of life.” So, he kept drinking and was kicked off the transplant list. Jaundiced and in pain, Jason resigned to die. He says, “I figured it would be better if I was gone. I felt like I was a mushroom cloud in the middle of everybody closest to me.”

In August of 2015, Jason now homeless, checked into a free Christian rehab center hoping to die and end the pain.  But then shortly after a mandatory church service, someone pulled him to the front for prayer. He remembers, “They were praying for healing. And, you know, to open – open my eyes, my heart. I laid everything down and surrendered, ‘Lord, have your way with me. Have your way, have your way with my heart, my mind, every area, every aspect of my life I surrender to you.’ I just actually felt Him for the first time. And felt His love for the first time. And it was just something that came over me that I've never felt. The hopelessness was gone. It was just a state that I can't explain with words. But I received it. And I had a joy come over me.” The next morning, Jason woke to find the jaundice had disappeared. Later that day his doctor confirmed his liver and pancreas were healed. Jason remembers the doctor saying, “He said, 'Well, no, your liver – your bloodwork came back, your liver is 100% functional. It's just as healthy as any other man your age'.”

Jason started reading his Bible daily and growing closer to God. Soon he was leading others to Jesus at the recovery center. Since then, Jason reconnected with his daughter. Today he finds joy ministering to broken people and helping them restore their lives through the power of Jesus. He says, “There is too many people out there who feel they're alone, who feel they went too far and done too much, who feel that God can't love them because of what they have done, that need to know that there is somebody out there who was just as crazy, just as wild, just as depressed, just as lonely, just as broken and defeated as they were, if not worse. And look where I am today. It's not – but it's not by me, it's all by the grace of God.”


Share Your Story

Share This article

About The Author

Ed Heath
Ed
Heath

Ed Heath loves telling stories. He has loved stories so since he was a little kid when he would spend weekends at the movies and evenings reading books. So, it’s no wonder Ed ended up in this industry as a storyteller. As a Senior Producer with The 700 Club, Ed says he is blessed to share people’s stories about the incredible things God is doing in their lives and he prays those stories touch other lives along the way. Growing up in a Navy family, Ed developed a passion for traveling so this job fits into that desire quite well. Getting to travel the country, meeting incredible people, and