From Hit List to Prayer List

Bryann remembers feeling rejected at 13 years old, when his mother called the police and had he and his twin brother arrested. She had recently broken up with their father, and it was her way of disciplining the two unruly teens.   

“We always disobeyed, you know, kind of asking for attention but not getting the attention that we needed. We were feeling like we’re last, she’s choosing her boyfriends first.  So, it put us in a place where well, who does love us?”

Released from juvenile prison, they found shelter and acceptance among neighborhood troublemakers, and started stealing and dealing drugs.

“So, we eventually found the love in the streets. Some knuckleheads that were rejected from their household; they formed their own brotherhood. We robbed people to eat, you know.  Literally, call the pizza man if we’re hungry, call the pizza man and we’ll get guns and rob. It started building this lifestyle of, if we want it we’ll come together and we’ll get it, even if it’s the wrong way.”

“It made me feel like this is somewhere where I am wanted. I didn’t know it at the time but they were using us too because they knew that we would do whatever for the brothers.”

For the next several years, Bryann was immersed in street life and was in and out of jail. At 21, he tried to avenge a failed hit on his brother.

“I see the man coming this way. And he sees me. And I’d been looking for him. And I have a gun on my lap. I’m by myself.  I’m pulling up to him and I’m like man, perfect timing. And he’s coming to the car with his friends thinking they’re going to beat me up. And I’m thinking, I got you. And as soon as he came to the thing, I rolled the window down [shot, shot]. He’s on the floor, he’s shaking. I’m shooting this way at them. And I remember peeling off like yeah, I got you, victory.”

Bryann was arrested and charged with attempted murder. While awaiting trial, he realized that his so-called friends weren’t around anymore.

“Everyone I thought loved me, vanished on me. So, I’m like Man, where’s my loyalty at? And I had a list of everybody that did me wrong, what I was going to do to them. I was going to hurt her, I was going to hurt him. So, I’m sitting there in this cell restless, so angry.”

Then he remembered that revenge hadn’t gotten him far. So, he prayed to God.

“I’ve heard the Gospel preached before, salvation…and it’s free and God loves you and that He wants you to come home. I went to a church service that night in jail, right and everything just came right back. So, I cry out to God in this cell, facing this time. Just give me peace—just don’t leave me. I’m going to serve you. Even if I have to be in the penitentiary I’ll serve you. And He tells me to start forgiving people. That list I made of people that I wanted to hurt when I got out, I had to start praying over these people instead of sitting there wishing death on them. It became a prayer list.”

At trial, Bryann’s charges were reduced and he was released after serving three years in prison.   

“It was like man, this is something unconditional I never experienced before. Just being the type of man I am…You would still give me help. I was grateful.”

By this time, his twin brother had turned his life around. He became a Christian and started creating rap music to glorify God. Until the night he was fatally shot just outside his home.

“When they said my twin was murdered, I felt like my soul was cut in half. I couldn’t go to his funeral because I didn’t want to see him in a casket because he looks just like me. I want to remember him with life. So, it was hard for me. He walks like me, he talks like me. Even now to this day, when I look in the mirror, I see him. 

The grief nearly drove Bryann to suicide. It was then he realized he had never fully surrendered his life to Christ.

“I still had things I didn’t want to let go of. Kind of on my terms. I’ll change God but I don’t want—I’ll just do little by little. He was telling me give me everything but when my brother was murdered, I gave Him everything. My prayer was like – I got lust in my heart, I got greed in my heart. I got –I’m blaming everyone, I know this is my fault. I’m tired of running a race the wrong way, going backwards. In and out of prison, being a failure. They just took the closest one to me on earth. I don’t want –I don’t want Satan to take no more from me. So, I want to live for You. So, whatever You got to do, help me.”

Bryann’s prayer was answered and his life was transformed.  He forgave his brother’s killers and reconciled with his mother. Now, he honors his brother’s memory by continuing his music.

Today Bryann is married and has a family of his own. Through their ministry Kingdom Muzic they travel and share the message that forgiveness is freedom, and God’s love is the way home.

“Knowing that the Father looks for me and says, come home, that’s a different type of love. It’s beautiful to know he loves me like that.”