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Hopeless and Angry to Peaceful and Restored

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Jerry Roberts remembers well growing up in poverty in the rural community of Manchester Texas.

Jerry remembers, “We had to pump our water, warming our water, even on the stove, to take a bath. We would have to use even the restroom like in buckets. I’ve had to fight with a lot of shame. And so but I had a lot of anger because of that.”

What angered him more was watching his father, a drug addict and alcoholic verbally and physically abuse his mom.  

Jerry shares, “I can remember my dad literally taking an elbow to my mom's face. To see my mom be abused that. Even as a child, it instilled so much anger in me.”

When Jerry was six, his parent’s divorced and he went to live with his grandparents on a farm. While in the 5th grade he developed a lazy eye and was the subject of relentless bullying. He responded the only way he knew how.

Jerry recalls, “I learned that if you made me angry then from what I saw growing up either I need to either verbally or physically abuse you.”

The anger also fueled Jerry to prove himself. In high school, he did well in his classes and on the football field, becoming a star line-backer with hopes of going pro. It was his ticket out of poverty.

Jerry says, “I saw football was going to be my way of me being able to take care of my mom and my two sisters and my family.”

After high school, Jerry made one more step toward his dream when he went to William Penn University in Iowa to study mechanical engineering and to play football. Then, in his first game he broke his arm so badly, it ended his football career, shattering any hopes of going pro. Depressed and angry, he stopped going to class and was kicked out of school.

“I had no hope,” Jerry shares. “I didn’t really care anymore, you know.”

Jerry moved back to Texas to live with his mom, where his life took a drastic turn. He would spend the next 13 years in a gang called The Bloods, dealing and using drugs. While he joined for acceptance, he found a new outlet for his anger.

Jerry says, “I looked at them as a family that I didn't have. Like somebody I could talk to. People that when I needed something that I could go to. I never thought that I would be beating people up for what was in their pocket, you know, for money or just because I didn't like a certain color of clothes that they had on.”

By 26, he was married and had 2 children. A daughter with his wife, and a son who was living with his ex-girlfriend. Now on probation for stealing, he was trying to make an honest living working in a chicken processing factory. Still carrying the anger, shame and guilt, he fell deep into drug addiction.

Jerry recalls, “And that’s when I really started doing the heavy drugs, the methamphetamines the cocaine, you know, drinking a lot, because I was still bringing all that anger.”

He also became suicidal.

Jerry remembers, “If I take my life, life will be better for her and life will be better for my daughter because then they wouldn’t have to put up with someone that has this temper and this anger that I would have.”

Then one night, outside a convenience store, some friends got into a fight. Jerry jumped in and stabbed a man. The next day he turned himself in and was arrested on aggravated assault and violating his probation. Awaiting sentencing he ran into a familiar face, a rival gang member who was facing 60 years.

Jerry shares, “He was a whole completely different person. I didn't understand how he was just somebody so peaceful.”

They became fast friends, and Jerry started watching Christian television with him every morning. Eventually, he could no longer ignore God’s call.

Jerry recalls, “I just fell and I cried out to God ‘Forgive me God. I need you Jesus.’ I was just crying and I said, ‘God, I give my life to you.’ I give Him my whole life and I did, I gave up everything. I realized that God was not mad at me, but he was madly in love with me. And how He forgives. He desired to come and live in me. You know how the spirit of God wants to dwell in me and I was crying out to God and said you mean, ‘You forgive me? And you want to come and live in me after everything I have done and what I have done to people?’ And all of a sudden and I still can't explain it even today, it was like the very sun itself come out of the sky and like hit me. And I was just crying and I had like every pore in my body was opened up, my body was on fire, and I had like a peace hit me so hard, and I can't even explain it.”

From then on, Jerry read his bible and prayed.

Jerry shares, “I was someone who was addicted to drugs, I was addicted to alcohol, you know, and God delivered and set me free completely from it. I felt the love of God and for the first time my life had meaning.”

Serving 5 ½ years of a 10 year sentence, Jerry became a leader in the prison ministry. Although he and his wife would divorce after his release in October 2016, it didn’t change the fact he was a new man, delivered from his addictions, and healed from the wounds of the past.

Jerry says, “Now that anger and that guilt and that shame is gone. He is a deliverer. He a God who fills you with peace and a comfort that you can't explain.”

He started working at an egg production plant, learned a new skill and is now the maintenance manager. Jerry is married to Leslie and has a great relationship with all of his children and his parents. He and his wife do prison ministry and marriage counseling, and Jerry is an ordained elder who shares the message of hope on radio stations and platforms all over the world.

Jerry shares, “God can deliver you today from addictions. He can deliver you from anger today. He can deliver you from fear today, but it's something you can only find in Jesus.”

To find out more information regarding Jerry's ministry, please contact him at Jerryrobertsharris81@gmail.com or 903-732-7337.


 

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About The Author

Michelle Wilson
Michelle
Wilson

Michelle’s been with CBN since 2003 as a 700 Club reporter-producer. She’s an award-winning producer who’s traveled to seven countries producing life-changing stories on healings, salvations, and natural disasters, reaching millions for Jesus. She’s an entrepreneur and humanitarian who gives generously to those in need through Michelle Wilson Ministries.