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Set Free From a Lifestyle of Promiscuity

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Luis says, “I remember just glancing back with fear, just looking at the dance floor and there was people on the floor, there was blood everywhere.”

On June 12, 2016, 49 people were killed and 53 wounded at a gay nightclub in Orlando called Pulse. The deadliest mass shooting in America. Luis Ruiz, who went with friends, was one of the ones who made it out alive.

Luis shares, “You know, there was so much shame for even going to the club that night. I felt like this is what I get.”

Luis had lived much of his life as a homosexual. Growing up he always felt different, the kid with the thick glasses who preferred playing with the girls. When Luis was 10, a boy showed him a porn video.

Luis recalls, “I was getting so much bullying and rejection and here’s this guy that is like wanting me and desiring me. I think it just woke something up inside of me.”

Adding to his confusion, Luis’s dad, a Sergeant in the army, didn’t give him much affection.

Luis remembers, “So as a child I longed so much for a father's attention, a hero-like attention. Rejection for me felt like a lot of pain. It felt like a lot of hurt. Like I just wanted to be accepted.”

Then his parents became Christians and they started going to church. There he learned that homosexuals were going to hell.

Luis says, “So as a young kid just going through puberty, going through life, and then also going through same-sex attractions that I had no idea how to handle this. There was a lot of times where I cried myself to sleep.”

By high school, however, Luis was open to exploring his same sex attraction. It happened in his senior year while playing spin the bottle at a prom party, when he took a dare to kiss another boy.

Luis reflects, “That was like my first kiss with a guy. And I remember just something inside of me exploding saying ‘Whoa, I need more of this.’ Like a drug.”

Soon after, Luis began sleeping with other gay men, drinking and partying. Even then, he knew the lifestyle he was living was wrong and wanted a way out. He thought if he joined the army, it would make him a “real” man. In his 15 years of service, he became even more promiscuous.

Luis says, “I'm just living the life; dating men, cheating on men, having sex with all types of men.”

After a medical discharge, Luis became depressed. Unable to hold down a job, he became homeless, sleeping with men just to have a roof over his head. Then one early morning after partying at a club he ended up in front of a church, and walked in. There he prayed with a woman to accept Jesus as his savior.

Luis shares, “I didn't know if tomorrow I'd be sleeping with men again, I just knew at that very moment He was after me. I knew at that very moment it could change my whole life around and so, I just gave it a chance. I expected when I accepted Him into my heart, to take it away in a second. I expected to wake up tomorrow morning and all those feelings would be gone. And when they came back I didn't feel like I was saved.”

Then in June 2016, Luis ran into some friends who invited him to come with them to Pulse nightclub. They’d been there a couple of hours when shots rang out.

Luis remembers, “And at that split moment, you hear someone yelling, ‘Run for your life. Run for your life!’. I remember being in so much pain because everyone is just trampling all over me, stepping on my chest, my neck, just trying to survive. Trying to get out of the club. I thought to myself, ‘I'm just going to die here and I'm going to be here, and I'm going to die alone.’ Someone came into the patio, picked me up, and walked me over to the 7-Eleven across the street.”

Soon after, Luis had another frightening experience when he learned he was HIV positive.

Luis says, “And I remember just quiet for the longest time. And I couldn't believe it. And I believe that God used that moment to start to pursue my heart. And I remember just screaming out to God and saying ‘God, I'm a gay man. Like what do you want from me?’ It’s almost like I heard Him say, ‘It's not a gay to straight thing, it's a lost to saved thing. I am after your heart, not just your sexuality.’”

Now, instead of focusing on himself, he opened up to God’s forgiveness and love. It was then he started to understand his true identity in Jesus.

Luis shares, “I’m saved and I’m set free. And I know who I am in Christ, temptations are still going to come. But the beauty about this is that I get to respond with the gospel. I get to respond with scriptures and that's what changes everything.”

Today, Luis and his father have a great relationship and with medication, his HIV is under control. He and a ministry partner, Angel Colon, a Christian friend who was shot six times in the Pulse massacre, have formed the organization, “Fearless Identity.” Its purpose is to bring hope and the love of God to the LGBTQ community and to those in the church.

Luis says, “There's hope in Christ Jesus and there's no better life but to live in Him. Don't try to pray the gay away. In fact, just ask for His heart. Get to know the Lord's heart and you'll get everything, I did.”

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About The Author

Michelle Wilson
Michelle
Wilson

Michelle’s been with CBN since 2003 as a 700 Club reporter-producer. She’s an award-winning producer who’s traveled to seven countries producing life-changing stories on healings, salvations, and natural disasters, reaching millions for Jesus. She’s an entrepreneur and humanitarian who gives generously to those in need through Michelle Wilson Ministries.