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A Christian Guide to Healthy Intimacy

God created human beings to have a deep and intimate relationship with Him. He also created us to be sexual creatures with the intent of drawing a husband and wife closer together. However, in today’s culture we find that society has corrupted God’s plan.

In a world filled with sexual chaos, Nancy Houston, wants to help those struggling to find the meaning and purpose behind sex. “Scripture clearly makes a connection between married love and sex—a very necessary connection to make if we are going to reclaim the meaning and purpose of sexuality.” God created sex as a gift to bond a married couple together and to reflect His nature. However, it isn't always easy to navigate two bodies becoming one.

Sex is also a mutual celebration of husband and wife. Yet, with all of its potential for pleasure, sex can also be an area of pain and confusion. Nancy offers guidance on experiencing and providing sexual pleasure, an analysis of how men and women experience sex differently, healing words for those who have experienced sexual embarrassment and pain, and powerful reminders that sex is celebrated and encouraged throughout scripture. She says it can be everything God created it to be.

By using storytelling that mirrors real patients (names changed), Nancy paints a picture of how God wants to heal those who have experienced sexual trauma, addiction, or dysfunction. For example, Kaycie, one of the characters in the book, is a loving Christian wife and mom who has hidden a deep secret for years that has come back to haunt her. When she was a teenager, Kaycie’s youth pastor raped her. She believed that if she forgave him and let it go, she could move on. But after her husband, who also experienced sexual trauma, cheated on her, the hurt came back to the surface. Olivia, the counselor, encourages Kaycie to grieve what happened to her and helps her find healing through group therapy, scripture, and prayer.

Nancy says that there are three elements that cultivate healthy relationships and healthy sexual relating:

  • Intimacy—Learning to be intimate with another person means we practice opening up and letting them in.
  • Attachment—When we allow ourselves to connect deeply with another person.
  • Passion—To Build passion, fear of closeness is acknowledged and processed, and both spouses are willing to be naked and unashamed, because trust has been built.

Nancy experienced sexual trauma as a child at the hands of her father. As a WWII vet, he suffered with PTSD and later suffered a brain injury. As a lawyer and city judge, Nancy admired him but also knew how unpredictable he could be. After drinking heavily, sometimes he would sexually abuse her. In an effort to avoid these horrible memories, she pushed the feelings down and got married right out of high school.

She and her husband committed their lives to God and in her 30’s, those feelings of shame resurfaced. Nancy sought help and, through her recovery work, she felt led to become a counselor. After she started private practice, her office was filled with people who experienced sexual trauma. After a long day of helping clients, Nancy recalls asking, “God, what is happening? I had no idea that so many of your children are struggling with their sexuality. Is this what you want me to do?”

Feeling confirmation that God wanted her to help others with sexual trauma, Nancy went back to school to learn more. She did her post graduate studies at the Institute for Sexual Wholeness and she has spent years helping other sexually broken people.

Mentioned in the Video

Guest Info


Author of: Love and Sex, Regnery Faith, 2018

Sex therapist, leadership coach, and licensed professional counselor, MA (Masters Level), LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor), CST (Certified Sex Therapist)

Director for the John Townsend Leadership Program in New York City and Dallas Fort Worth area

Adjunct professor and fellow at the Townsend Institute at Concordia University

Former Associate Pastor at Gateway Church

Married for over 43 years

4 sons

8 grandchildren


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