Turn Your Messes Into Successes
CBN.com Mistakes—whether marital, financial, vocational or moral—are inevitable. Sometimes they are minor, while other times they are completely life-changing. But, in his new book, Second Chance, Second Act: Turning Your Messes into Successes (WaterBrook Press, April 2007), pastor and best-selling author Dr. Robert Jeffress proves that failure doesn’t have to be fatal. On the contrary, he shows readers how God can transform their biggest mistakes into new beginnings.
As the senior pastor of a 10,000-member church and the host of the nationally televised and broadcasted Pathway to Victory, Dr. Robert Jeffress understands the unending regrets and doubts that accompany personal failures. And so, in Second Chance, Second Act, he boldly confronts these fears and questions that plague multitudes of believers:
- Is God willing to forgive my failure?
- Even if I’m forgiven of my mistake, will I still spend the rest of my life paying for it?
- If God planned every detail of my life before I was born, did His plan include the mistake I made?
- Can I really ever totally recover from my mistake?
“I have good news and bad news,” writes Jeffress. “The bad news is that you can’t rewrite history. You can’t really start over because life has no Rewind button. But, the good news is that your mistake can actually be a steppingstone to greater success in life.”
With solid biblical insights, trustworthy wisdom and practical strategies, Robert Jeffress helps readers work through the guilt, suffering and fear of their mess ups. He shares numerous examples, from the Bible and recent history, demonstrating why the greatest failure doesn’t have to be the grand finale. And by offering five practical, biblical strategies of hope for those who have “blown it,” Dr. Jeffress teaches readers how to use their mistakes as a prelude to a fresh start in life—and a phenomenal second act!
He recently discussed the book.
What are three important truths about mistakes that we must understand before our biggest messes can be transformed into our greatest successes?
First, mistakes--whether they be financial, marital, or moral failures--are inevitable. Second, mistakes are forgivable. You will never be able to move beyond your mistakes until you realize that God is willing to move beyond your mistakes and forgive you. Finally, mistakes can be profitable. God’s grace can actually transform your worst mistakes into a prelude for a great second act in life.
What difference does God’s forgiveness make if it doesn’t exempt us from experiencing painful consequences for our mistakes?
Christ’s forgiveness doesn’t automatically remove all the temporary consequences of our mistakes. Terminations, divorces, humiliation, and even imprisonment may be part of the fallout when we blow it big time. But Christ’s forgiveness does exempt us from the eternal consequences of our failure. Simply put, a few years of suffering in this life sure beats billions of years--and more--of suffering in the next life!
If God planned every detail of our lives before we were born, did His plan include the mistakes we make? If our steps are directed by God, then are our missteps and stumbles directed by Him also?
Without a doubt, God does not want us to sin. However, God in His infinite wisdom is able to use all of our life to accomplish His purpose for us, including our mistakes. For example, I have people in my congregation who were born as the result of an immoral relationship or criminal act such as adultery, rape, or even incest. Yet, Psalm 139 says every life is planned by God. Only an infinitely wise and powerful God could take the moral failure of one or two individuals and use it for His purpose. The fact that God can transform our failures should be a great encouragement to all of us who have failed. The great example in Scripture, of course, is Moses who killed an Egyptian and spent the next 40 years in hiding. Yet, God used Moses’ failure to prepare him for a great “second act” that began when he was 80.
How do you feel about some people’s conclusion that God has two wills: His perfect will and His permissive will?
says that “God works all things after His will.” The word “will” is singular, not plural. God doesn’t have a Plan A and Plan B. God is sovereign, not semi-sovereign. The great thing about being King of the Universe is that you never have to settle for second best. What the King wants done, gets done. What that means for us is that God has a plan for our live that He WILL accomplish--and it is a good plan.
Why do we instinctively deny our failures rather than admit them? Give us some positive reasons for admitting rather than denying our mistakes.
The tendency we all have to cover over our mistakes goes all the way back to Eden when the first couple used some ill-fitting fig leaves to hide their failure. Since then, denial has been a part of every person’s basic DNA. The problem with covering up our failures is that failures refuse to be covered up. There are at least four reasons to “fess up to our mess up.”
First, admitting failure allows us to receive God’s forgiveness. God only gives to those whose hands are empty.
Second, admitting failure renews our emotional and physical vitality. Nothing can sap your strength more than lingering guilt and fear over unconfessed mistakes.
Third, admitting failure encourages us to move on with our lives. Confessing is like hitting an emotional reset button that lets us begin again.
Finally, admitting failure allows us to learn from our mistakes. Until we’re willing to admit our failure, we cannot profit from our failure.
What can we do to profit from our failures?
No one needs to “mess up for free.” If we are going to pay for our failures, we should use our “payment” as tuition to help us prevent future mistakes. How do we do that? First, when possible, we should learn on someone else’s nickel. Solomon wrote about the wisdom he gleaned from observing the sluggard. When we see someone else mess up, we need to learn from their mistakes rather than gloat over their failure.
Second, instead of churning over failure, we need to start learning from our failure by analyzing the cause of our mistakes. Then, it helps if we develop an “advance warning system” to help us avoid failure. That means having a group of trusted people in your life who will tell you the truth and help you avoid the fall-out that comes from failure.
What do we need to understand about the “intermission” between failure and the “second act”?
Usually our intermission begins with some major mistake (or fall-out from that mistake). At the point the curtain seems to come down on our life and we fear that our story is over. But intermissions--those pauses between our failure and our future--are necessary if we are to experience a great second act. We should resist the urge to skip intermissions and rush into the second act. Instead, we should see this pause in our story as a time to refresh our emotional batteries, reflect on where we’ve been and where we want to go, and renew our relationship with God.
How can we discern when our intermissions are over and what can we do to prepare for a successful second act in life?
Prolonging an intermission can be as destructive as skipping an intermission. To discern when it is time to begin your “second act”--which might involve a new job, a new marriage, a new ministry--look for what I call “seasonal changes” in your life such as a change in your attitude, your emotions, or your circumstances. Such changes may indicate that God is signaling that it is time to begin your second act now.
I also recommend that you develop a “script” before you commence your second act. Take a half-day or full day and sit down with a pad and develop a plan that clarifies the failure that led to your intermission, a visualization of your desired goal, the identification of obstacles to those goals, and a series of specific steps of actions you will take to remove those obstacles.
It is important as you begin your second act to “learn to travel in the fog.” By that, don’t wait until you can see your entire future before you take that first step. Finally, appreciate the importance of beginning “now.” Barbara Walters once said that the most important lesson she ever learned was “In life there are no dress rehearsals.” The time to begin you second act is NOW.
How would you summarize the message of Second Chance, Second Act?
American novelist F. Scott Fitzgerald once wrote, “There are no second acts in American lives.” Fitzgerald was wrong. You can recover from your mistakes and enjoy a great second act in your life. Failure doesn’t have to be final.
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