Breaking Generational Curse of Addiction

Anthony Torres early childhood came without a storybook start! Anthony recalls, “I remember growing up and saying, ‘you know what? I don't want to be a drinker. I don't want to be an alcoholic.’ I wanted to be different. This is what took my grandma and grandpa. My great-great grandma was an alcoholic. My great, great grandpa was shot in a bar, and then I found myself being an alcoholic. I had turned into something that I didn't want to become.”

At the age of 6, after his parents divorced, Anthony suffered a significant loss. Anthony says, “Momma was 16 years old when she had me so there's always a lot of uncertainty. Being sad. Grandma and Grandpa had just died in a car accident killed by a drunk driver. Head-on! Grandpa died instantly, and grandma died pinned between the cars. My grandpa - to wake up one day and his red truck's not moving anymore. Nobody's picking me up for school. For me at that time it was a lot to process.”

Anthony moved to a new school a year later. His insecurities grew, as did his teenage drinking. During his senior year of high school Anthony fathered a child.  

Anthony explains, “I was angry. Angry at God, angry at the world! I drank so much. Just dealing with that pain, dealing with that insecurity, with the hate and the anger and the bitterness that I had!  Almost like history was repeating itself. Not only was I a drinker but now I was a teen dad! I couldn't even take care of myself; how could I take care of a child?” 

Anthony turned to stronger addictions saying, “I started drinking at the age of 14 and I started doing cocaine at the age of 17. It got to the point that when I would drink, I needed to use. More cocaine, crystal meth, I tried pills. Even tried heroin a few times. Smashing prescription pills and snorting them, you know, just trying to get a bump in, trying to get a quick high in.”
   
He met Sasha at a bar. They began dating. They had a daughter, and six years later, a son. Although they remained unmarried, even the semblance of family couldn't change Anthony - or his countenance. Sasha describes it, “Like death! Like evil! I couldn’t recognize him anymore. His addictions and his habits had taken over and he wasn’t the person that I knew. He became a stranger to us and nothing I could do to make him change.”

Anthony spent time with a motorcycle group while away from home. Anthony explains, “We were brothers. We were there for each other. It's a sense of belonging, to be loved. That was my excuse. The motorcycle culture, it's what we do! Ride around and drink, chasing the girls. I didn't even care about my consequences knowing that I was out there doing all that and my family was at home waiting for me. Sasha put up with this for almost nine years of me back and forth, ‘Oh, I'm going to get help. I'll change.’ Nothing ever changed. It just got worse.” 

Anthony’s addictions consumed him. He recalls, “It started getting out of control. Sasha was at work, you know, I would get my kids and I would go get my drugs. I saw now that my addiction had become more important than my own family.” 

Finally, Sasha moved out with the kids. Anthony overdosed twice before he agreed to go into rehab. However, he walked out after 11 days and began bingeing again. Anthony says, “I knew that I had a problem; I just didn't want to admit it. I started feeling depressed, anxious, feeling suicidal. I had no hope in life and my kids deserved better. Sasha deserved better. Nobody would miss me. And my addiction was going to kill me. I wanted to die an addict because I saw no way out.”

With his house in foreclosure, Anthony moved to Oklahoma to be near his aunt. He passed out one evening while at a party. Anthony recalls, “Didn't even know where I was at. When you wake up in your own vomit it changes things sometimes. Asked my aunt to come pick me up, and she said, ‘I’m going to church come with me.’ And I just said, ‘I don't even like Christians. I don't like church. I don't even know if I like God.’ But I remember showing up to this church and he spoke about a Jesus that I've never heard before in my entire life. He was talking about family, about the past, about being broken. He was reading my mail. For once in my life, my heart wasn't hardened anymore. It softened.”  

Anthony responded, explaining, “I got up out of the chair and walked towards the front, "the walk of defeat," because for once in my life I had no pride. No ego. God had me right where He wanted me, in the place of brokenness. I fully reached for Him who can change my life, and that was Christ. It was that day that I got saved in church and I began to believe that every day He would make me well. Not wanting to drink anymore, not wanting drugs anymore, with the hope that people have when they put their faith in Christ.”

Anthony’s been clean and sober since 2010. Anthony says, “Knowing that I'm worthy in His eyes when I feel unworthy in my own eyes. He still loves me and wants to be a part of my life. That's the kind of God He is.”

Sasha and Anthony reconciled and got married. Sasha says, “His love was evident. Before you couldn’t feel any warmth or anything from him. And it was the love of Christ in Him. You could tell he wasn’t the same.”  

Anthony’s change led Sasha to commit her life to Christ. Six years later, they moved back to Anthony's hometown of Alamogordo New Mexico, to serve as lead pastors at Mountain View Church.

Anthony says, “I want to be real and raw and transparent! My goal in life is to change the course for my family. I'm the first pastor in my family; I'm the first author in my family; and now restored, loved, valued, and I have purpose going after the heart of a perfect God, every single day.”