'Give the Pain to Jesus': Pussycat Dolls Singer Reveals Abortion Regret, God's Healing and Forgiveness

A former pop star is opening up for the first time about the pain she felt over three painful abortions, sharing on social media that Jesus can "heal the pieces" and provide forgiveness.

Kaya Jones, 38, appeared on Students for Life of America's "Speak Out with Christine Yeargin" podcast last week. The former Pussycat Doll opened up about her experience of being in the group and the painful cost of stardom, explaining to Yeargin that she often felt like she was a prostitution ring instead of a girl band.

"It feels like you are a slave to your dream, literally, and the powers that be are holding the keys to the kingdom. You have no access to personal thoughts, space, choices, decisions," she explained. "You are an owned commodity...the level of control is like, 'Who am I?'"

She added, "You are put into these positions that are very unscrupulous for any young woman."

Her popular girl group sold more than 15 million albums and 40 million singles, but Jones sums up her experience as simply "selling a lie."

"When you are doing things that are really incorrect and your body is up for grabs, this is where we have to take a hard look at ourselves and for me, I had to take a hard look at myself when I had two young fans in the audience looking at me," she explained. 

"When you see these two little faces and at that moment, I was going through an abortion. I'm losing my child in real-time...these two little girls are looking at me going 'wow Mom, she's a Pussycat Doll'," Jones recalled. 

"Nothing in that moment was saying 'caution, this is a lie'. Nothing was saying that and I was a lie in that moment," she added. "I was tainted, I was destructive, I was destroyed, I was completely enchained and in bondage to the devil...I was not living in my purpose."

Despite the false image of happiness she portrayed and the abuse and control she endured, Jones recalls some of her most painful moments lay at the abortion table. 

Her first came at the age of 16. 

"After the first one, you don't think you've done anything wrong," Jones explained. "Once you've crossed that line, it's a very slippery slope to continue to cross those lines."

She added, "I didn't feel that that was murder if you will. I didn't have any understanding of it. I didn't speak to my family about it. I didn't speak to anyone about it. I went and got it done, and I didn't need anyone's consent."

Jones details that she had her second abortion while a part of the Pussycat Dolls. 

"I was told to get rid of it," she said. 

"At that point, because I had already gone through an abortion previously, I didn't think it was that big of a deal," Jones continued.

Then her third abortion came at the age of 30 after being raped. 

Jones said she wanted to keep the baby, but decided to have an abortion due to "stress" and "complications". 

"It is painful beyond measure," she shared. "It is something that you live with for the rest of your life and when it hits women at a later time it is something that is so painful."

Jones has since left the group and is "using her testimony and experience to point the world to the lifesaving message of Jesus Christ," her website describes.

"The Holy Spirit had put on my heart to share about the abortions I've had," she told Yeargin. 

In 2019, she publicly mentioned having an abortion in a Twitter thread.
 

I have never publicly said why I speak on being pro life. I am one of the women on this planet that was made to believe it was no big deal & to get rid of it. I carry a cross on this issue. I want to help women not make the same mistakes I did. It’s time for change. It’s a life.

— Kaya Jones (@KayaJones) January 3, 2019

But Jones' recent on-camera testimony is now going viral.

"It is very painful; there is a lot of anger, there is a lot of frustration, there's a lot of lack of knowledge, there's a lot of regret," she said on the podcast. "Nothing can make that go away other than God Himself when you lay it at His feet and ask for salvation on these issues."

In response to her story, Jones wrote on Instagram Tuesday, "Give the pain over to Jesus. He will heal the broken pieces. It's time all men and women lay it down at His feet. He has forgiven you. Now forgive yourself."

During the Speak Out podcast, Jones said the trauma of the abortions has lit a pro-life fire in her heart.

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"Unfortunately, people don't want to talk to young women about it in the way that I feel we should start talking to young women about it," she said. "Instead of just demonizing it or putting all these regulations, we have to come up with some kind of understanding of the damage."

"When you've had one, you think you can keep having them," Jones confessed. "You don't think it's a big deal, and I genuinely think our culture has turned it into a form of — contraception."

In a 2017 tweet, Jones expressed that Hollywood is the biggest backer of abortion. 

Hollywood elites push eating disorders, sex, drugs, & abortion on young women in the entertainment industry #ConfessYourUnpopularOpinion

— Kaya Jones (@KayaJones) August 7, 2017

She added, "We're all mothers of dead children if you've gone through an abortion. You will regret it your whole life. Even if I become a mother tomorrow, and I'm happily married and all is well, I'm still going to regret the three children I did not have."

Jones says having children is one of God's greatest blessings. 

"I hope to one day be able to be a mom. I hope to be a wife and to be able to share what I do believe is the greatest gift and ultimately the greatest job you will ever have on this planet as a woman is to be a mother," she stated.