WHO ARE THE PASTORS’ WIVES?

To understand their passion, podcast, book, mission, and goals, it’s helpful to know a little more about the three, remarkable millennials. Here are some quick facts about Jessica, Stephanie and Jenna:

•    Have matching tattoos.
•    Occasionally do “Instagram” and TikTok dance parties.
•    Take road trips, eat junk food, and laugh a lot.
•    Would like an occasional Sunday off.
•    Their children can change from cherubs to monsters, creating abject pandemonium.
•    They are from different denominations, and all three have suffered at least one, deep “church hurt.”

Their deep friendship was forged and as much as they cherish their unique friendship, they say ministry and mission will always be their top priority. Their mission is to encourage every pastors’ wife to take off her mask and be her authentic self. They want to dispel stereotypes and myths and help pastors' wives live in their "glass" houses that are sometimes messy and chaotic.

These remarkable women desire to see pastors' wives and women in general, walk with confidence in their gifts and callings. Their broader mission is to educate church members about the needs of their pastors’ wife; her struggles, her stresses, her loneliness, and her sorrows and joys. They see a church under construction without spot or blemish as we become authentic communities of loving, compassionate believers, a place where people find peace, comfort, and salvation in Jesus Christ.  

THE PODCAST: THEY BUILT IT, THEY CAME.

Despite hard evidence that pastors’ wives needed help, the wise trio had “a gut feeling that there was a great need among pastors’ wives and ministry staff.” Wanting to address those needs, they launched a podcast called, “Pastors’ Wives Tell All.” The podcast took off immediately and their social media presence grew quickly. Before long, they had thousands of followers on all platforms. They concluded their "gut feeling" about the need and their ability to help was from God. Individually, but with complete synergy, they have different goals for the podcast that align with their giftings. The Pastors' Wives want to help pastors' wives and women recognize their great worth in Christ and use their gifts to further the Great Commission.

Jessica is the founder of two nonprofit groups that help the people of Rwanda. Jenna wants to use her internet skills and business expertise to communicate clear messages of truth. Stephanie has made it her mission to find and communicate joy amid “the junk of everyday life.” Their most popular podcasts are “Tattoos and Nose Rings, When Church Hurts,” forging authentic friendships, and how to confront other believers or even the pastor (gasp) in love.

Their new book, Pastors' Wives Tell All, includes similar topics and complex new problems these knowledgeable “Pastors’ Wives” have already experienced. They can offer their experience and ideas for solutions and address the questions about a pastors’ wife’s appearance and presence. They say, “toss the prim and proper” unless it’s genuinely you. "Get a tattoo if you want if it is genuinely you.” They add a cautionary note; “Check your motives and ask yourself if your attire is to draw attention to yourself and your appearance, or to shock or disturb other church members? Make sure it’s just an expression of who you are with moderation your goal.”

PASTORS’ WIVES CAN HAVE FRIENDS

A common misconception in the church is that pastors' wives cannot develop close friendships in the church. The "Pastors' Wives” say this is not true. They encourage building relationships in the church because strong relationships build a stronger community. A pastor's wife should look for several people to form deep, intimate friendships. The wrong “friend” can wreak havoc in the church. “Use discernment. The person might be captivating, but are they petty, judgmental, or gossipy? Find out if they are trustworthy and mature. Don’t rule out people who are younger or older, or who come from different backgrounds or cultures. Also, choose friends who might become part of a broader, less intimate circle. The church needs healthy friendships to form healthier communities.”

MORE ADVICE AND “CLOSING THE BOOK.”

The book’s target audience is pastors’ wives, yet everyone in the church, from the ministerial staff to members of the congregation could profit from reading it. “The goal of the church is to create a healthy, vibrant place to meet that is loving and authentic; where people can meet Jesus Christ and receive salvation. Leaders and church members are working toward a common goal. We all want healthy churches that draw unbelievers.” 

They caution church members not to place anyone on a pedestal, especially the pastor and his wife. “We are just people who make mistakes too. We need to learn to confront, make amends, and ask for forgiveness and forgive others.” They add, "If you do want to affirm us, praise our honesty, authenticity, or uniqueness.”

A few closing words specifically to pastor’s wives: “Don’t stop serving. Don’t stop caring and loving. Don’t stop doing the work God called you to do. Don’t overserve. Don’t take on more than God is asking you to do. Don’t let the expectations of others drive you. Make time for rest and fun with your family or you will burn out or break down. Be free to laugh, dance, worship, and forgive. Be free to enjoy life and, if you want, even get a tattoo."

Discover everything you need to know about The Pastors' Wives at their website: www.PastorsWivesTellAll.com.
                      

“You have fear and you have faith --- I had to get ahold of my fear, and put it to my faith.”

On October 30, 2018, one phone call completely uphended the lives of the Pellicotte Family. “It said University Medical Center, I knew without a doubt, she was in trouble. I just kept slamming my hands on the steering wheel, just trying to get to her,” Sheri Pellicotte described.

Sheri’s first call was to her husband Dennis. Their 20-year-old daughter, Jaclyn, and her boyfriend were pulling out at a busy intersection, when a large truck slammed into the passenger side of their Jeep where Jaclyn was sitting. Rescue personnel rushed Jaclyn to University Medical Center in El Paso, Texas where her parents arrived shortly after. Although her boyfriend walked out with minor injuries, Jaclyn suffered numerous injuries, fractures, and a traumatic brain injury. She wasn’t expected to live much longer. “To process somebody telling your daughter's not gonna survive…it just doesn't set in because you're like, this can't happen to us. I just saw Jaclyn, three hours ago at home, how can we already be here in a hospital with her fighting for her life?" asked Dennis Pellicotte.

In surgery, doctors had to remove two portions of Jaclyn’s skull to relieve pressure on the brain. Hours later, Sheri and Dennis were finally allowed to see Jaclyn, who was now in a medically induced coma. Doctors did not know how much more time Jaclyn had, if any. Even if so, they were certain she would never be herself again.
About three days later, Sheri says she was praying for her daughter when she received a word from God. Sheri shared, “God told me Jacqueline would be recovered and she would have a foundation and she would bring thousands to Him through her testimony. The prayers after that prayer changed everything because it was now, we had this hope, we had this God, big God standing beside us.”

For two months Jaclyn held on, before she was transported to TIRR Memorial in Houston, a hospital that specializes in traumatic brain rehabilitation. Finally, when it became clear that Jaclyn would live at least, they brought her out of the coma. She still showed no signs of cognitive or physical recovering. “Jacqueline was in a wheelchair. Jacqueline was not speaking. Jacqueline could not hold her head up. She could not really move her legs at all,” Sheri described.

In the coming months Jaclyn would endure intense rehab. Friends and family continued to pray daily. Jaclyn remained in rehab for nearly a year before finally going home -- still in a wheelchair, and bedridden. Then one night, Jaclyn surprised her mom when she spoke for the first time since her accident, saying the words, “I love you.” Two months later, Jaclyn continued to surprise when she stood up for the first time, another unexpected milestone. As she continued rehab, Jaclyn found different ways to get back to normal, which included building over 200 Lego sets, building her hand/eye coordination back.

Jaclyn went on to continue her college career, majoring in pre-med to become a neuropsychologist. She and her parents also started the JaclynStrong Foundation to spread their testimony and help other families with TBI. The Pellicotte family also have a renewed belief in prayer for themselves and for others. Dennis said, “We're still healing, we're still recovering; I have a testimony, and my testimony is how good God is. Whether He chose to heal or take. I thank Him for leaving Jacqueline here to spread his word --- the power of praying is amazing.” 

When asked about what she now believes about miracles, Jaclyn herself shares: "There are miracles in the Bible, but I feel like so many people don't see real day life miracles now. So after they watch mine, then they can see that miracles do happen. God is the same; never changed, never will.”

Jaclyn’s unbelievable story has been covered by several news and media agencies in the El Paso area, and it was shared on Easter Sunday at Joel Osteen’s Lakewood Church, and is generally known for its exceptionally miraculous nature in its defiance of its medical prognosis. 

For more information regarding the JaclynStrong Foundation, which provides assistance with food, lodging, and parking for other TBI patients please visit: JaclynStrong Foundation.
 

JESUS AS BRIDEGROOM

Sue became a Christian at the age of twelve, but never thought much about Jesus being a bridegroom to his people -- both men and women. Years later, as a wife and mom of three young kids, she sensed the Lord directing her to study the Song of Solomon from the Old Testament. Sue delved into the first section (chapter 1:1-2:7), and found truths that helped her then and would see her through hard times later, when she went through a divorce.  

She also began teaching what she learned. “If you’re seeking a deeper relationship with the Lord, you will find Jesus and yourself in this story,” Sue says. “The drama tells of the struggles, hardships, and extreme delights the two lovers in the poem experience. Once believers understand the story that is unfolding, they put themselves in the place of the maiden and recognize the Lover is the Lord Jesus. This story is a progression of the life of the earnest believer: the stages, tests, failures, and victories that happen to us as we follow the Lord. He completes what He starts in the life of the maiden, and He will complete what He had begun in us also.”  

FOLLOWING HIM 

In the second portion of Song of Solomon (2:8-5:1), Sue sees an invitation to leave one’s comfort zone and go wherever the Lord leads. The maiden’s trusting response to the king in this portion, and the comfort He provides in a new, uncertain place was reassuring to her. “The responsive heart is what the Lord enjoys, not our particular stage of maturity,” she says. “He doesn’t reveal all our shortcomings all at once. We go from glory to glory one step at a time. We are hopeless without Him at work in our lives. As we submit to Him, knowing we’re powerless, we ravish His heart.”  

Sue says she was certainly out of her comfort zone as a newly-divorced mom in her forties, needing to work again to support herself and her three children. She went back to college to earn a teaching degree, and also agreed to sponsor an FCA group at a local middle school. Though it was all new and often scary to her, she saw it as an opportunity to partner with Jesus on a mission which would bear fruit.

THE DARK NIGHT 

“This wasn’t how I thought my life would go. Marriage was supposed to be for life. I feared the turmoil in our family around the divorce would cause my kids to turn away from Jesus,” Sue remembers. She says for the first year after her divorce, she would put her kids on the school bus every weekday and cry for 30 minutes, feeling completely overwhelmed. “I told the Lord that what I’d been teaching (from the Song of Solomon) had to become real for me, that I was taking Jesus to be my husband on a whole new level. Jesus has shown Himself to me on many occasions to be the husband I needed, especially while I went through my divorce.”  

As Sue pored over the third section of the Song of Solomon (5:2-7:13), she saw a parallel in the intimacy between the maiden and the king, and that of Jesus and his people. “As we feast upon Jesus, we also will produce double fruit,” she states. “I believe I have a private gate where I meet with God. That place is just for Jesus and me. I believe our God has a private personal place to meet with each of us. When I’m in a private time with God, I feel He is listening only to me. I’m not sharing His attention with anyone else. The Creator of the universe knows me; He knows me! He is everything I thought He was and even more than I could have imagined.”

OUR BRIGHT FUTURE

Over the thirty-some years that Sue has been studying this great book, its many encouragements have sustained her. She says the closing verses (8:1-8:14) assure us of the bright future with the Lord in the resurrection for all believers. “The Bride is asking to be bound to her Beloved in an exclusive spousal love relationship. We too are sealed in His heart and with his strength and power (His arm). He will never let us go, just as death never lets go. It is the Lord who keeps us by His power. He is able to keep that which is committed to Him. We are sealed unto the day of redemption (Ephesians 4:30). She is saying, as we say, ‘Come quickly, Lord Jesus! We know He is coming back for us, and we look forward to that glorious day. Like the young deer, He will leap over every obstacle and principality to free us from this wilderness that is not our home.”  

Years ago, Sue was in Hawaii with family and saw the lava flow from a live volcano. “As we drove around the island, we could see vegetation coming up through the black charcoal blanket. It got greener and greener as we drove. Out of the destructions of a volcano comes new life and very fertile ground.” Those green shoots reminded her of her own life, which had once seemed hopeless, and how the Lord had been so faithful to bring new life. “My children are now adults, and they are all strong Christian people,” she says happily. “Today, I’m a retired schoolteacher who still ministers to God’s people and reaches out to the lost.” 

To purchase Sue Baker House's book, Song of Songs, please vist her website: www.SueBakerHouse.com.

“I think I felt guilt and shame, because how could I allow myself, first of all, to be put in a situation like that? It was my fault. I must have done something to allow them, to give them permission to do what they did to me,” Jennifer says.

In October, 1988, Jennifer Zimmerman was a freshman in college with a bright future ahead of her. But everything changed one night when she went to a friend’s apartment off campus. “It was a normal weekday evening, just going over to his apartment--no party, anything like that,” she says. “There were a couple of other girls in the apartment, I remember that, and maybe some of his roommates. The next thing I remember, waking up, in a bed. and I said, ‘I don't feel good. Something doesn't feel right. I need help.’ I couldn't see faces. I could just see silhouettes of bodies.’ It wouldn't take long for me to understand what was happening.”

The events of that evening would haunt her for decades. “My trust was destroyed after that, after that night, again, because he was my friend. So I struggled with that, for a very long time.”

After being threatened by the men, Jennifer left campus and moved back home. She later discovered she was pregnant. “I remember going to a clinic, a women's clinic. I remember going there and just standing and staring at that door thinking, ‘I can't have this baby.’ And something would stop me from going through those doors.”

Jennifer kept her baby. In 1998, after dating for several years, she married, and she and her husband had three children. She wanted to start attending church to seek healing, but her emotionally abusive husband, refused to allow her to attend. “I had begged, ‘Pease let me go to church. We need help. I need help. I need something. I'm suffering. I'm dying inside.’ And, it just wasn't allowed.”

Then, in 2015, Jennifer was diagnosed with cervical cancer. “I was told very early on that I was looking at a year. I had a year left to live,” she says. “And I was just angry enough to stay alive and angry enough to say, ‘No, it's not on your terms anymore. It's on my terms. It's on His terms. I'm going to church.”

While taking her cancer treatments, Jennifer continued to seek God. She also says it was during this time that she had an encounter with Jesus in an unlikely place. “I met Jesus in a radiation tunnel. The radiation is so intense, if it would hit any other organ in my body, it would destroy it. I had to be so still. And it was in that stillness that I met Jesus truly in that radiation tunnel. I felt His presence.”

There, Jennifer asked God to heal her and to save her. “I could just feel His presence. I could feel His arms around me,” she says. “I didn't even know up until that point that I could call out on God, um, and that He would answer. I don’t know if there are adequate words to express how I felt. I just knew. I knew it was Him. I was set free. I was bold and, and I knew, I knew then whatever, whatever amount of time that I had left, whether they were a right or they were wrong, if I had a year, I was gonna use it to glorify His name. And I knew in that moment, I couldn’t deny Him.”

She later asked God to help her change her heart toward the men who assaulted her. “He absolutely is doing a work in me and it’s gonna take some time and some patience with myself. I do want to be set free from that,” she adds. “And not so much because he hurt me. It's because of the collateral damage, what it caused for my son. I left that campus carrying a child who would spend the next, the biggest part of his life, not knowing who his father was.”

Jennifer and her husband eventually divorced, and she continued to respond to cancer treatments and is now in total remission. “Cancer saved my life. It, it gave me permission to boldly chase Him. There's so much beauty and so much promise and so much love and peace. Everything has changed. My world is brighter.”

She has since founded a ministry called ‘Rise’ that helps women who are victims of domestic abuse. “It truly just started with me sharing my story,” Jennifer says. “There was a time I needed shelter and I needed safety, and I didn’t seek it because it was just more trauma. Now I get to go into these spaces and I get to design for them, and I get to, I get to walk this part of people's stories, helping them transition out of these shelters into their own homes.”

As she grew in her relationship with Christ, Jennifer was released from her guilt and shame and wants to tell everyone about the physical, emotional—and spiritual--healing power of Jesus. 

“I physically can't shut my mouth about it now. And I said, ‘I will scream it from the mountaintops.’ I love Him so much, and to know that I am loved by such a perfect God. I'm not worthy. I know that, but I'm loved anyhow,” she says. “The rest of the world needs to feel and know too.  People need to be set free from their own bondages and their own prisons, serving sentences for crimes they didn't commit. That's my purpose."