Overcoming the Wounds From a Father

Bob Reccord lost his mother when he was only eleven months old. His father was an angry alcoholic which meant that Bob and his two other brothers were passed around from relative to relative for care. His father gave his two older sons up for adoption and kept Bob. Once he realized that Bob was too much work, he decided to give him up for adoption as well. Bob was separated from his brothers and forced to grow up on his own. The family that adopted him had lost four children—three by miscarriage and one was a stillbirth. His new family had their own issues. His new dad was the illegitimate child of a 45-year-old businessman who had a tryst with a 15-year-old girl. When he was born, his father denied paternity and his young mother handed him over to her dysfunctional parents to raise. With generations of Father Wounds, the cycle kept repeating itself.       

Bob’s new father was a good provider. Yet, he was not affectionate or emotionally available. He didn’t go to any of Bob’s sports games or spend quality time with him. Bob explains, “There’s no question that provision is a sign of love, but it cannot be the sole, or even primary, means of expression of that love. But my dad knew no differently. He was carrying Father Wounds of his own.”       

Bob’s teen years proved to be some of the hardest. “No place did that become more impactful than when I became old enough to play sports… But one thing was consistent: dad was never there. He was always working. But what I deeply desired more than anything was his presence.” HEALING AND RESTORATION While preaching to 300.000 men at a Promise Keepers event, Bob saw firsthand the effect that fatherlessness has had on our country. He has also had countless women share their own similar experiences. That is why he decided to write this book with the release around Father’s Day. Dr. Rick Fowler, a licensed counselor, also helped by providing practical advice and steps towards healing. Bob explains, “We want this book to help you repair the impact of any Father Wounds you experienced, and to help prevent future Father Wounds from occurring.” For those with Father Wounds and for fathers who don’t want to create them, it’s important to communicate with your children, give them quality time, love, and affirmation. For those suffering from Father Wounds, Bob offers the following advice:  

• Take the Father Wound Assessment Tool.   
• Understand that forgiveness is vital for healing.
• You cannot control how others respond. But the initiative towards healing is your responsibility.       
• Honoring your Father is a biblical mandate--even when he doesn’t deserve it.

Bob accepted Christ through the influence of a friend at the age of ten, however, he didn't truly make a personal commitment. When he went to college he wanted to become a doctor. He attended Indiana University and drank and partied through college. His grades were suffering, and he broke up with his girlfriend. At this point, Bob asked God to come and change his life.  Also around this time, he recognized his call to preach. A few weeks before these events happened, his pastor thought Bob should be a summer student pastor. Bob thought this didn't fit into his plans of becoming a wealthy doctor, but God changed the course his life was taking. After he graduated from Indiana University, he went to seminary.