- Hi, Mel.

- Hi.

- Thank you so much for being with us.

This is seriously a momentin my life where I'm like

I gotta go home and just like thank Jesus

because your testimonyhas truly changed my life.

So I thank you so much for sharing that.

So your first book was "Wreck My Life"

- Yes.

- In "Wreck My Life"you kind of talk about

taking an intimacy fast which you dubbed,

what did you call it?

- I called it kiss listtill next Christmas.

- I love it, I love it.

The one that I did, well, Ijust called it an intimacy fast.

It didn't have the cute name.

- Well, I needed a blog title.

So it worked.

- Tell me a little bit about that.

- You know, I said I kind ofstepped back and looked at life

and asked God, dismantlewhat you need and rebuild it.

One of the first big thingsthat he brought up to my heart

was my sexuality.

You know, the very obviouson the surface relationships

that I was pursuing andphysical things that I was doing

and all that that entails,

but it was also the under the surface

this reckoning with who Iwas, who I was in his sight,

who I was as a woman,

where I needed to kindof put on the blinders

and spend time with him.

And I came across the scripture that talks

about love the Lord yourGod with all your heart,

all your soul, all yourstrength, all your mind.

And suddenly that alltook on a new form to me.

It became really non-negotiable.

And so I was like, what does that mean?

What does that mean?

And what he just sortof whispered to my heart

and kind of coaxed me into ishe's like, I want all of you.

I want all of you and Iwant you to know all of me.

And so give me one year.

I just put up some really firm boundaries.

I said, you know what?

If I'm gonna be in a monogamousrelationship with God

I need to treat thisrelationship like I would

if I was in a monogamous

committed relationship with a person.

- That's good, yeah.

- So I'm not gonnaflirt with anybody else,

I'm not certainly gonna bephysical with anybody else,

I'm not gonna seek theaffirmation of anybody else.

- Yeah.

- It was truly puttingon of like the blinders,

God I'm gonna fix my eyeson you, fix my heart on you

and I will treat everybody else

as if I was in a committedmonogamous relationship.

When I was able to step away

and say, okay, just me andyou God, it was really tender.

- Yeah.

- It just began to cultivatewhat it's always intended to be

with the Holy Spirit of true relationship

of like I'm listening for your voice.

Speak to me, point out inme what I need to repent of,

point out in me why I've beenstruggling with X, Y, or Z.

God, who do you say I am?

And who are you truly?

And when we get in the word, you know,

when we are in a stateof fasting it's beautiful

because it just shifts your perspective.

- Exactly, yeah.

- And as I started to justprocess and pray through that,

he began to draw up everyname of every individual

I had given pieces of myself away to

and he just convicted my heart,

you've never once broughtthese names before me,

you've never once broughtthem to my thrown,

you've never once sought forgiveness,

you've never once extended forgiveness.

So I think a lot of thetimes when we start to move,

you know, we want new year, new me,

like let me reset my focus.

I'll do this fast, it's a me focused act

but fasting is neverintended to be me-focused

it's intended to be God-focused.

And if we set our eyes on the cross,

we see the ultimate modelof chain breaking grace

and that's forgiveness.

And really, that wasprobably one of the hardest

parts of the year but itwas incredibly healing

in that I reached out toindividuals I'd been involved with

or I extended forgivenessor I sought forgiveness

or truly if it was someoneI couldn't even remember

from like a drunken college get together,

I just even brought that before the Lord.

And I'm like, you knowwho they were, I don't.

- Well, hooking up as you know

is totally just our culture today.

- What the flesh wants.

It's carnal, it's quick.

It gives us satisfaction.

I think we try really, reallyhard to convince ourselves

that, you know, we can hookup in a detached manner.

We have become this culture of light,

compartmentalized conscience.

We want to separatethings and do what we want

when we want it and separate it

from what God actually intends.

And then we struggle when the brokenness

of these things collides back together.

The word calls us to die to our flesh,

the word calls us to sideline happiness

or quick satisfaction for holiness

and for the standard of God.

- What would you say to someone out there

who is involved in the hookup culture?

And they're just not sure how to do that

or they're feeling like they can't

like they can't change their ways.

What would you say to someone?

- I would just speakhope over that individual

to say they know theconvictions they wake up with

that Sunday morning whennothing actually fulfilled

outside of the temporaryon Saturday night.

And they know that holethat runs much deeper

than the longing for aboyfriend or a girlfriend.

They know that wholethat is deeper in them

of longing for true connectedness.

And yet they feel likeit can't be with God,

I'm disqualified from that.

It's been too long, too much, too broken.

If these two chicks even knewthe extent of what I have done

or how far, or, you know,the repercussions I've seen,

they wouldn't be so easy tojust casually talk about a fast.

Oh, but man, all I wouldhave needed to hear

would be someone to say hismercies are new every morning.

- I love that, yeah.

So in closing, what would you say

to all of the singleladies and gents out there?

What is your prayer for them

in today's kind of crazy culture

where it makes it kind ofhard to be single sometimes?

- It does.

Oh, my prayer is that they would be still

and know that He is God, Psalm 46:10.

Know that you are seen, youare known, you are loved

and truly I would challengethem to rise up in that.

Let that stir something inside of you

to know that you were created with purpose

and that your identity is sure.

You're an image bearing creation of God

and that the intimacy you're longing for,

the connectedness you're longing for,

it's never going to be found

in the quick hookup culture.

It's solely and only ever gonna be found

in the person of Jesus.

But I would pray that theywould rise up really boldly

in a culture where it'sreally hard to be bold.

I would love to see ageneration look different.

- Yes.

Come on.- I'd love to see a generation

look different becausethey're not so easily swayed

by what the masses are doing around them.

They're more easily swayed bythe things that are eternal.

Also, I just like feisty, bold people.

I'm so tired of everyone

living the same.- We love that about you.

No, thank you.

Seriously thank you somuch for being here.

I know that you aregoing to bring such fire

and truth to so many souls outthere that are watching this.

So thank you so much for being here.