The Husband Project Day 7: Take Notice!

Project #7
Gotcha!
Notice the Great Things He Does
 
Your Project:
Tell your husband something about him that you think is simply great.
 
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (Ephesians 4:29).

What Men Really Need

One of the big things I’ve learned in doing "The Husband Project" is that for us as wives, giving words of encouragement is one of the hardest Projects we have. Sometimes we get cranky about our husbands not expressing their feelings. However, the backlash I get from Projects that involve encouraging our husbands is that they’re often the most awkward and difficult for us to do.

Our husbands are desperate to know that they’re making a difference in the world – even if it’s only their family’s world. They need to know that their work, their interactions, their leadership, and their love are making a difference to the people around them – and you are their number one resource for getting that feedback.

This is not natural for most of us. It’s hard and uncomfortable to bolster our husbands with words – especially when we might feel, in our heart of hearts, that they don’t deserve them.

But, here’s the thing. When you begin telling your husband how great he is, it raises his bar, internally. Men, in every area of their lives, want to live up to the standard that has been set for them. He starts to see himself in a different light – not as the guy who is constantly missing the mark, but the one who surprises himself, and the people around him, with how capable he is.

Getting Creative

• Keep a 3×5 card in your pocket today. Every time some great quality about your guy comes to mind, make a note of it.
• If you’re having a little trouble coming up with items for your list, ask around. Ask your friends, your mom, your kids – anyone who is a fan of your man can point out all the good stuff.

Project Reports

“This was a Challenge to me today. I was not in the best of moods and feeling very irritable. Because of this project, I tried to put those feelings aside and focus on the things he does do. When he got himself a snack in the afternoon, I said that looks good I think I will have some too. Since the dog was lying with her head in my lap, he said he would get it for me. He does things like that all the time and I do not acknowledge that he does these little things. Therefore, when he came back into the room I not only thanked him but I went a step further and said “Thank-you so much for that, you are always doing such sweet nice things for me.” His response was precious; he started to smile but tried to restrain it and say, “You’re welcome.” He said other words but I can not remember them. Basically, he was down playing what he did, but was secretly thrilled for the praise. I need to work on praising him more for the things he does do, and thank-you Kathi for this project in helping us see ourselves more clearly. It also made me not run off with my irritations and instead focus on him.” - Linda

“I sent him an e-mail to let him know just how much I appreciate his hard work at providing the money. He works hard so I can stay home with the kids.” - Strawberry

In the comments, tell us how you encouraged your man today!

 As the author of 'The Husband Project' Kathi Lipp speaks to groups across the country on how to put your marriage on Project Status.

Find out more about Kathi and the Husband Project Seminar at www.the husbandproject.org.