No Such Thing as a Perfect Mom

With Mother’s Day this Sunday, I cannot help but reflect on my parenting years thus far. It makes me think back to when my oldest was born. I had these unachievable notions of the perfect mother. I would do everything right and she would be the perfect child.

Naively, I believed I had it all figured out. I see many first-time moms do this. There is nothing wrong with it; they are excited and take their new role as “mommy” seriously. You cannot fault somebody for wanting to do everything right. But, it is impossible. No mother is perfect. Not one mother in the Bible was perfect and not one mother today does everything right.

Motherhood is sticky fingers, messes, chaos and love. The later is really what matters most.

Moms need a break. We need to have time to do things for themselves. I kid you not; for about seven years, I refused to take time for myself.

Having some peace and quiet once in a while makes my home much more calm. It is not that I want to get away from my children. I just need a moment for me without so much noise.

Years ago, I would have thought this was horrible! I am not really sure what changed, but I am glad that it did. I hate to admit I would judge other moms so freely, but I wondered about their lives and how they were raising their children.

In some ways, I was jealous of moms who were able to take a break and release their white-knuckle grip off of their children’s lives. I was jealous of them presenting themselves well.

You can get caught up in the frumpy mom cliché much too easily. I sure did. I would never care about how I looked as long as my children were dressed perfectly.

Your energy and focus should fall on the Lord first, then your family and in my opinion then yourself. Your children do come before any selfish needs you may have, but that does not mean you do not deserve or need time for you.

As my oldest daughter grew, I noticed I was getting burnt out. By the time we had our second child, it was exhausting to be so rigid on myself 24/7 that I did begin to let go a little. When I say let go, I mean maybe let my three year old play in her bedroom without me hovering over her.

We did not have a babysitter until my daughter was almost seven! I would get this panicy feeling that would well up inside of me, as if I was the only one capable of taking care of my kids. This panic lessened when my third was born. Yet again, it was not as much as I needed for my own sanity.

I had a hard time letting God show me that He was watching over my kids. Almost like an armed guard protecting precious jewels I would keep watch constantly. I felt bad limiting what they could do, but my own fear prevented me from letting them experience life.

So how did I learn to let go? I finally realized that God has me here to take care of them, not smother them. He wants our children to be able to learn lessons; they cannot, if we are constantly looking over their shoulder.

I am happy to report that my children are babysat and my oldest even slept over her grandma’s house! She loved it and I was so happy that she did.

Motherhood is serious business; but be sure not to take yourself too seriously. Enjoy every little moment without over stressing about it. God does not expect us to be perfect mothers. Love your children as He loves you and that in itself makes you a great mom!

Happy Mother’s Day to all!