Hispanic Values vs. Heavenly Values
(Click here for Spanish Translation) Recently I spent a week in
This conflict was very was evident in the reaction of a Christian leader to one of my statements. I proposed to him that Pastors should exhort the single men, who are in a position to provide for a home, that they should marry the young widows in the congregation (among whom I include women who have been abandoned and single mothers). After all, that’s what the apostle Paul says “So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander. “(1 Tim 5:14). This idea horrified my friend who assured me that young widows must marry widowed gentlemen, due to the fact that Hispanic parents do not accept that their boys marry ladies with children from a prior marriage. He was intense and unwavering in his position so I had to seriously meditate on this issue.
I tried to reason - in giving him the benefit of the doubt- that this attitude of Hispanic parents stems from a reasonable desire to avoid responsibilities that are larger than their children are capable of assuming. Nevertheless, my friends’ insistence led me to believe that this attitude reflects rather carnal expectations that their kids marry “Snow White” (without the “seven dwarfs” of course).
If that’s the case then this reflects an errant emphasis on physical virginity, and spiritually speaking, an immature attitude. “Virginity” (real o assumed) is not a guarantee of purity, which is more an issue of conscience and of the heart. The U.S. President who claimed “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” appealed only to a physical standard that was hypocritical. The exaggerated place given to the value of virginity comes to Hispanics from a vast Muslim inheritance, acquired through 800 years of the Moors’ occupation of the South of Spain. Also, I don’t see how we can obey The Word when it comes to meeting this standard, since 63% of Puerto Rican children born in the
Christian love on the other hand “covers,” or compensates, for a multitude of sins. A loving husband loves his wife “just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless”(Ephesians 5: 25-27).
I believe that it is “very Christian” in nature, for men to consider those women that others have disposed of, and who many others take for granted. I believe it expresses the exact attitude of Christ, who after all, chose to marry a woman of “low reputation,” meaning us the Church, composed of redeemed sinners. I understand that Hispanic parents may fear a repeat romantic failure for their single and inexperienced children who marry a previously married person. But I suspect that behind that wisdom there may also be some fear related to social status, the fear of “what will they say about me?,” that is so prevalent in our culture. Also, there might be romantic illusions and dreams that parents want to live vicariously through their children.
My personal experience from seeing firsthand cases is that those men who discover solid Christian single mothers and who treasure them, and become fathers to their children, find much more grateful wives who are possibly more mature, realistic, and uncontrolled by illusions.
I invite you to share your opinion and suggestions at blog@joselgonzalez.org and to read more of my articles on Hispanic culture at www.semilla.org. We’ll talk more next week…
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