Sex and Respect: Talk It Out

In today’s world, sex is often represented as meaningless. Right now, if you were to rent or go to the movies, you would find ungodly messages about how you can have sex with “no strings attached”.

Popular media often portrays sex as an inconsequential act of fun, something to be had by consenting adults married or not. Affairs have even been shown as positive additions to a marriage. Yet, the Bible commands us to act otherwise.

In my own marriage, I have realized how much the culture of meaningless sex can even affect a married couple who do not physically commit adultery.

At times, I admit I have been caught up in the humor or innuendos that heard often in conversations of adults. It is so common these days that it is not even shocking to hear a dirty joke or come across a perverted word littering a conversation. What once would make you flinch is not even given a second thought now.

The problem is it should make you flinch hearing others talk about sex or describe things in a fashion that is inappropriate. Not realizing the impact of these conversations can effect your marriage and children in ways that are not seen right away.

The way in which some married couples are so open-minded of one another having this approach of lusting after another person, celebrity, or otherwise, is mind-boggling. Society would have you to think that there is something wrong with you if you do not allow it.

For a long time, I thought it was OK for my husband and I to have these feelings; it seemed everyone else did too. I also felt I was wrong to complain about my husband occasionally pointing out another good-looking woman. I did not want to be the only one of his friends wives who was uncomfortable with her husband having a wandering eye, especially since it was only a quick look. He felt the same way when it came to my glances.

Even though we knew we weren’t cheating on each other physically, this built insecurities in ourselves.

God does not want us to have impure thoughts. They can be a gateway for sinful actions. Allowing your mind to go there and thinking your spouse is OK with it can be a dangerous combination. Moreover, speaking about people in that fashion can give off bad impressions of you and your relationship.

Sexually-charged words used to describe women and even men today are offensive. They even have acronyms so popular that they are used in magazines. What is used as a clever abbreviation is truly disrespectful. Still, these words are used so commonly now that other woman or men sometimes consider it an envious title or a badge of honor.

My husband and I had a long conversation about this issue. It was the first time we had ever really openly discussed our feelings on the matter and it was very interesting to hear each others opinions. We both agreed that our promises made to each other seven years ago on our wedding day are more important than a joke or a second glance.

As parents, we want our children to value their bodies and respect themselves. I never want my daughters or my son to think that it is OK to have meaningless sex. I do not want them to believe that it is how they should act or that is how they will find love. If my husband and I give them a good example of what marriage should be like, dispelling the mixed messages about sex, then they learn how to be pure and respectful.

Even if they do not notice now, they will as they get older. We want the sanctity of marriage to be something our children honor. We want them to see that a spouse deserves respect and a relationship void of sexual impurity.

Do you feel society is too blasé about sex these days? How do you escape the dirty jokes and lustful thoughts in your life?