Finding Relief from Parenting Stress

My son is as smart as they come, which in most ways is wonderful. But as I dialed the Poison Control Hotline in hysterical tears for the third time in six months because it seems my son can out-smart any childproofing device, I realized I am overwhelmed. Thankfully, it turned out to be fine. However, as I cried to the calm voice on the other end of the call, I couldn’t help but feel exasperated by my life.

The responder was sympathetic. She told me these things happen all of the time and reassured me that most toddlers are apt to explore dangerous places. She encouraged me not to feel guilty or upset.

Still, I could not stop weeping. I was emotional because I was scared about the situation, but also crying by the grace this woman gave me through her kind and timely words.

Being a parent is definitely not easy. It’s a job that requires constant focus amongst many distractions. When I was pregnant with my first child, I envisioned the beautiful dresses, the matching shoes and tights, and a perfect baby. I saw myself running the perfect household. Now, I am lucky to find two shoes of the same color and size, and if my children’s faces are free of smudges, it means they just woke up or had a bath.

We often beat ourselves up about our failures as moms and dads. We set our own expectations of what we should be doing. But, as with anything in life, there should be room for mistakes. My own father said something to me that I sometimes say it in the midst of a chaotic day, “God does not expect you to be perfect.”

We can never be perfect parents. We should try our best and do what we feel is right for our children using God’s guidance, but we must accept the fact that there will be days when our house is a mess and our children run circles around us.

It is important as moms and dads to learn to find ways to cope with a bad day. Often, we feel guilty if we need a break. God knows we need rest. He wants us to feel refreshed; stress is not a necessity in parenting.

On those days when you can barely hear yourself think and your world seems to be falling apart around you, know that these feelings are not unique to you alone. We all go through this.

Raising a child is a learning process. We learn from triumphs and trials. Your children will test your patience and your strength. Just do not all your fears and challenges besiege you.

Just as God does not expect perfection from us, we should not expect perfection from our children or ourselves. When you feel like you have had enough, do not lose faith. You have God by your side and in your heart to help you.

Take time for yourself. As a young mother, I would often feel like it was wrong for me to even spend a minute away from my children because I was neglecting time I could be spending with them. I would let the guilt travel with me to the store or even if I just wanted to take a shower. I could not separate myself from the feeling that I should be there all of the time. I came to realize that me on edge and overwhelmed does not benefit my children anymore than it does me. Having alone time can curb that feeling.

Nurture friendships. It does not make you a bad mom to need a couple of hours to get out once in awhile. Build your relationship with other moms. They need encouragement and adult conversation just as much as you do.

Take time to develop your relationship with the Lord. Go to church groups or spend some quiet time reading Scripture and praying. This will not only build your spiritual relationship, but also offer you a peace that you cannot find anywhere else.

Being a parent is a blessing that comes with so much love and happiness.  Having a bad day does not mean that you are doing something wrong.  We all have those moments that weigh us down.  Trust in God for the strength and patience you need.  Our Heavenly Father has us in His hands at all times.  Give yourself a break as a parent and love your children on the good and bad days, just as God loves us through it all.