Chapter 4: Personalities

IN THIS CHAPTER, you will discover:

·    The four basic personality types.

·    Your own personality type.

·    How personality types interact.

·    The relationship between the seven functional gifts, the four motivational levels, and the four personality types.

AS A RESULT, you will be able to:

·    Understand those around you better.

·    Understand yourself better.

·    Improve the quality of your interactions with others.

·    Function at a higher level of maturity, sensitivity, and effectiveness.

Key Word: Tendency.

In Chapter 3 we studied the seven functional gifts and noted that they provide the framework upon which our personalities develop. Our functional gifts do not define our personalities, however. Each of us has a different personality, though we may have similar gifts. Our experiences, our environment, and our character development work together to give us personalities as unique as our fingerprints.

It is nevertheless possible to speak of "types" of personalities, if we understand the term "personality" to mean a tendency to behave according to a certain pattern. Modern researchers have classified over sixteen hundred personality types, but it is agreed that these fall into four basic categories. Drs. Selig and Arroyo call these four personality styles Ruler, Promoter, Server, and Designer. In this chapter we will learn the characteristics of each personality type. We will also see how each is related to the seven functional spiritual gifts and the four levels of motivation.There is an important philosophical difference between the way our authors regard personality types and the way many secular researchers commonly regard them. According to some theorists, human personality is determined by social and environmental factors. Personality types represent "destinies" rather than tendencies. If we act a certain way, it is because we are made a certain way. We really have no choice in the matter.

Such a nonbiblical worldview disregards humanity's high estate as created in the image of God (Gen. 1:26-27). It also ignores the presence of the Holy Spirit at work in the human spirit (Rom. 12:2; 2 Cor. 3:18). As Christians, we do not study the four personality types to learn what kind of robots we are, but to aid our growth in grace and knowledge (Col. 2:19; 2 Peter 3:18). Familiarity with the basic types of human personality can help us to function more maturely in relation-ships with others. It can also help us in our spiritual growth. An objective knowledge of our strengths and weaknesses reveals areas in which we need to grow spiritually. As we surrender these "unfinished" dimensions of our personality to the Holy Spirit, he will give us the gifts needed to become more balanced, dynamic, and humane.

Overview of the Four Personality Types

Each of the four personality types has three functional gifts that are "friendly" to that type. These gifts supply the general characteristics of each personality type. One gift influences its appraisal perspective, one gift influences its instructional style, and one gift influences its results method. Thus each personality type has a particular style of evaluating, communicating, and acting, which is itself affected by the overall blend of gifts.

Making It Work:

• Compare your personality profile with that of your spouse and children. Do you see any natural affinities? Any points of tension? 

Ruler

The Ruler personality is extroverted, highly directive, task-oriented, and forceful. They are "movers and shakers" who love problem solving. At higher levels they are visionary, charismatic leaders whose assertiveness and determination fuel great exploits. Ten to fifteen percent of the population was created as Rulers. God intends these individuals to act as catalysts within the general population. If they use their talent and authority wisely, others will benefit from their drive and enterprise.

The three functional gifts associated with the Ruler personality are the appraisal gift of Prophecy, the results gift of Leadership, and the instructional gift of Exhortation. Rulers are usually oriented toward the gift of Prophecy or Exhortation.

At lower motivational levels, Rulers are ruthless, power-hungry, exploitative, impatient, and vengeful. Higher level Rulers overcome negative Ruler characteristics not only by using the functional gifts of Prophecy, Leadership, and Exhortation at high motivational levels, but also by developing the complementary gifts of Mercy, Service, and Teaching. This dynamic will be repeated with each personality type. The gifts of Service and Mercy add patience, receptivity, and kindness to the Ruler's behavioral profile. The Ruler's rough edges are softened, and they become a more effective and responsive leader.The spouse (or parent) of someone with a Ruler personality should approach them in a way that takes their Ruler characteristics into account. Since Rulers like to make decisions for themselves, it is usually better to guide them to a decision rather than tell them what to do directly. Lay out the options for them, emphasizing the logical consequences of their actions and the effects of their decisions on others.

Ruler Personality

Character Strengths: Perseverance; courage; acceptance of responsibility; confidence; independence; practicality; productivity

Central Drive: To exercise control and attain results

Desires: Power; prestige; resources for accomplishing goals; task competency

Stressed By: Menial routine; boredom; criticism; minor details and obstaclesOver-relies On: Force; control; dominance; personality strengthThrives On: Challenge; responsibilitySin Problems: Misuse of power; oppression; false sense of omnipotence; lack of emotion; sarcasm; inconsiderateness; anger

Work Environment: Freedom from restraint; freedom to effect change

Emotional Needs: Admiration; recognition; authority; respect

Character Needs: Humility; gentleness; mercy; meekness; tolerance; trust

Teaching Style Needed: Reward with freedom; needs self-assured, credible leadership

Promoter

Promoter personalities, like Rulers, are extroverted and assertive. Unlike Rulers, Promoters are people-oriented rather than task-oriented. Promoters are vibrant, energetic, and witty. They make favorable first impressions and are the life of the party. They are optimistic, intuitive, and enthusiastic, and can inspire others to action. Promoters can empathize with diverse types of people and unify them into a cohesive group. At their best they are dynamic, compassionate leaders with an abundance of warmth and discernment. At their worst they are egocentric, superficial, moody, disorganized, and impulsive.

The gift profile of the Promoter includes the appraisal gift of Mercy, the results gift of Leadership, and the instructional gift of Exhortation. The Promoter is usually inclined toward the gift of Exhortation or Mercy. A Promoter reaches spiritual and emotional maturity by raising the gifts of Prophecy, Service, and Teaching to the levels of their other primary gifts.

Promoter Personality

Character Strengths: Mercy; kindness; friendliness; eloquence; enthusiasm; humor; originality

Central Drive: To relate to others with personal impact; to encourage creativity and growth in others

Desires: Popularity; fame; influence

Stressed By: Confinement; detail; routine; inability to influence others or express creativity

Over-relies On: Charm and charisma; enthusiasm; psychological manipulation

Thrives On: Social contact; creative challenge

Sin Problems: Conceit; lack of self-control; selfish manipulation of others; gratification of appetites; exaggeration; undependability

Work Environment: Freedom to relate and to create; friendly; sociable

Emotional Needs: Attention; appreciation; approval; influence

Character Needs: Self-control; integrity; faithfulness

Teaching Style Needed: Be personal and friendly; allow time to relate; set clear goals, priorities, and deadlines; encourage to complete tasks

Making It Work:

If you or your children are Ruler or Promoter personality types, use the information contained in the information above to complete the following exercises:

Character Strengths: Do the strengths listed here describe you? Are there others you might add? Consider how knowledge of your children's gifts may be used to build their self-esteem.

Central Drive: Has God placed a specific desire or goal in your heart? Are you investing your time and talents in a way that is consistent with that goal? If not, how is this affecting you?

Wants: What are the personal dreams and needs of your children? Are there ways you as a parent can guide them toward realizing those dreams?

Stressed By: What family situations or duties do you find particularly stressful? Is it possible to assign that duty to another family member who has the appropriate gift for that job? Have a family forum in which everyone is made aware of the stress points of others. Discuss ways in which you can be more considerate to one another in these areas.

Overrelies On: List three specific ways in which you "overrely." What type of anxiety is at the root of this activity? How can you deal with this overreliance at a higher motivational level? (1 Peter 5:7)Thrives On: Do you engage in activities that allow you to exercise your primary talent(s)? Can you approach your present tasks in a more creative manner? What activities can you set up to develop your children's main gifts?

Sin Problems: List five situations in which your personal weaknesses have manifested themselves. How can you avoid these problems in the future? (1 Cor. 10:13; 1 John 1:8-10)

Work Environment: This category can be applied to the family environment as well as the workplace. Discuss ways in which the home (including chores and responsibilities) can be made more enjoyable for everyone.

Emotional Needs: It is important not only to love each other, but also to express our love in ways that are meaningful to them. (Sometimes taking out the garbage can mean more than a hug and a kiss!) Have each member of the family describe the ways they desire to be affirmed by other family members.

Character Needs: Consider what character qualities you need to develop. Be as specific as possible. To admit an inadequacy is, in a spiritual sense, to begin the process of dying to self in that area.

Teaching Style Needed: Parents should look closely at what instructional approach is best for their children. (We will address this question more closely in the next chapter.)

Key Word: Passive-Aggressive.

Server

Servers, like Promoters, are people-oriented. Unlike Promoters, they are more introverted than extroverted. Servers are patient, responsive, and sensitive. They are observant, and concerned about the emotional and physical welfare of others. Their loyalty, warmth, and stability make them a mainstay in whatever group they are involved.

In a social context, Servers are practical and easygoing. They are objective and diplomatic, often preferring to observe rather than to participate (particularly when controversy is involved). Servers tend to be conservative and oriented toward the status quo. They appreciate routine and tradition, and accept change only if there are good reasons for doing so.

The sensitivity of higher level Servers makes them invaluable nurturers and facilitators. However, lower level Servers are sometimes beset by insecurity and anxiety. They are unsure of themselves and are easily manipulated by others (especially as children). A lower level Server whose feelings are hurt may become passive-aggressive. Although there may be no external sign of anger, the Server will withdraw, drag their feet, and manifest a passive resistance to the offending party. Parents of Server children should learn to recognize this type of behavior, so they can bring unresolved conflicts into the open.

The Server's functional gift profile includes the appraisal gift of Mercy, the results gift of Service, and the instructional gift of Teaching. Servers are usually oriented toward either Teaching or Mercy in their serving. The mature Server allows the Holy Spirit to augment these gifts with those of Prophecy, Leadership, and Exhortation.

Server Personality

Character Strengths: Gentleness; patience; forbearance; modesty; self-control; efficiency; diplomacy; dependability; easygoing

Central Drive: To have a constant sense of belonging; to be a part of the status quo

Desires: Security; routine; strong relationships; structure

Stressed By: An unstable, insecure environment; pressure situations; conflict; decision making; change

Overrelies On: Material security; convention; routine

Thrives On: Stability; structure; consistency; harmonious relationships

Sin Problems: Fear; laziness; lack of trust; lack of self-discipline; indecisiveness; stinginess; over-protectiveness; lack of motivation

Work Environment: Stable; structured; friendly environment; little change

Emotional Needs: Stable relationships; stable environment

Character Needs: Courage; faith; zeal; initiative

Teaching Style Needed: Warmth; clear, succinct directions; consistency and predictability

Designers

The Designer, like the Server, is an introverted personality type. Unlike the Server, the Designer is task-oriented rather than people-oriented. Designers are analytical and can plan projects in intricate detail. They become deeply involved in their work and labor with great zeal, concentration, and accuracy. They are sensitive to beauty, and are always in search of the idea, the color, or the word that is "just right." Designers are methodical and disciplined, and are always reevaluating and recreating their environment and themselves.

At higher levels the Designer's taste and attention to detail make them among the most creative of the personality types. At lower levels this same attention to detail can manifest itself as cynicism and perfectionism. Even higher level Designers must be careful to avoid being overcritical. Like Servers, Designers may "shut down" and become passive-aggressive when hurt.

Designer Personality

Character Strengths: Analytical; high standards; aesthetic; disciplined; has integrity; discerning; loyal; idealistic; self-sacrificing

Central Drive: To control self and immediate environment; to earn self-respect and the respect of others through task competency; to fulfill personal potential through knowledge of truth and wisdom

Desires: Order; empathy; insight; a predictable environment; freedom to perfect without intrusion; opportunity to share knowledge

Stressed By: Tight deadlines; non-controllable environment; lack of empathy; rejection and failure; disagreement and disharmony; low standards in others

Over-relies On: Order; precision; details; logic; systems

Thrives On: The designing process; discovering patterns of order

Sin Problems: Arrogance; critical attitude; bitterness; anxiety; jealousy; condemnation of self and others; impracticality; moodiness; rigidity; antisocial

Work Environment: Freedom to create and to govern self; needs moderate structure and own space; time to produce quality

Emotional Needs: Empathy; understanding; affirmation; deep relationships; order; recognition of accomplishments; self-respect

Character Needs: Forgiveness; joy; humility; inner peace

Teaching Style Needed: Clear instructions and goals; affirming; non-directive

Parents of Designer children must give them a great deal of information about how to perform tasks. Only when they feel that they understand completely can they proceed comfortably. The many questions that Designer children ask are not attempts to frustrate the parent. They are expressions of the Designer child's detailed and methodical approach to doing things.

The Designer gift profile includes the appraisal gift of Prophecy, the results gift of Service and the instructional gift of Teaching. Of these, Prophecy or Teaching normally dominate. The mature Designer balances these gifts with those of Mercy, Leadership, and Exhortation.

Making It Work:

• Refer to the Making It Work section regarding Rulers and Promoters. Ask yourself the same questions substituting the Server and Designer personality types.

Key Words: Base Gift, Dominant Gift

In this lesson we will look at the relationship between the functional gifts and the four personality types. There are a tremendous variety of gift mixes possible within each personality type. To be identified as a Designer (for example) is not to be boxed into a limited set of personality characteristics. Each gift mix yields a different type of Designer personality. Though each mix has the general tendencies of a Designer, each also differs in significant ways.

To get the clearest understanding of the dynamics influencing you as an individual, you must look not only at your personality type but also at your entire gift mix. Observe the number and kinds of functional gifts you possess and the level at which each is being used.

Personality Types and Gift Mixes

As we have noted, each personality type is characterized by a triad of gifts that serve as its structural basis. Of these three functional gifts, one is an appraisal gift; one is a results gift; and one is an instructional gift.

Each personality type has a base gift that gives the personality type its fundamental tone or character. For the Ruler this base gift is generally Leadership; for the Promoter, Exhortation; for the Server, Service; and for the Designer, Teaching.

While the base gift affects the individual's general orientation and inner drives, other members of the gift triad will typically color their style of self-expression. For example, a Designer with a dominant gift of Service is personable, responsive, and patient - something of a "truth seeker." A Designer with a dominant gift of Prophecy, on the other hand, is conceptual, controlling, and less personal - more of a "truth teller." Outwardly, two such individuals would appear to have very different personalities because of the difference in their gift blend. A closer examination of both, however, would reveal the basic similarities in their Designer characteristics.

Very young children and those at lower motivational levels reveal only one or two gifts. By the time Level 3 is reached, all three members of the gift triad should be operating and coming into balance. As an individual matures, it is possible to find four, five, or even all the gifts manifesting themselves at differing intensities. Every conceivable blend of personality types and functional gifts is possible. Designers may manifest the gift of Mercy, or Servers the gift of Prophecy.

This is God's will and provision for us. If we need a gift of Prophecy or Mercy operating in our lives (and we all need every gift!), God wants us to have it. He makes all the gifts available to us through his Spirit, if we will ask him.

Spiritual Growth and the Individual

If we think of spiritual maturity as the ability to manifest all the functional gifts at high motivational levels, the question arises: What happens to the individual personality in this process? At the height of spiritual development, are we all characterized by the same talents, the same ideas, the same feelings, the same style? Some religions describe the end of the spiritual quest as the attainment of a state of impersonality. Many political theorists regard society as worthy of concern, but view individuals as abstractions. The church often seems uncomfortable with novelty and encourages conformity. Where does "individuality" finally fit into God's scheme of things?

Our goal as Christians is to say, like Paul, "I no longer live, but Christ lives in me" (Gal. 2:20). But this does not mean that our journey toward spiritual maturity is a journey toward faceless anonymity. We could hardly accuse Jesus Christ of having a bland personality! The Bible clearly states that we serve a personal God who creates and redeems us as individual persons.

Our God is a God who delights in diversity. He is the God of the rainbow (Gen. 9:13). He is the God who said, "Let the water teem with living creatures," and then looked at the diverse beings he made and declared, "It is very good" (Gen. 1:20, 31).

We should understand that the goal of our sanctification and our spiritual gifting is that we become the unique person God originally created us to be. Our individuality is not an imperfection; it is an intention of our Creator. The "self" that we lose in "dying to self" is not truly who we are. It is an inauthentic, false self; a distorted shadow of the person we are meant to be in Christ.

Our unique individuality is God's gift to us. Our continuing spiritual growth is a sign that God has not finished giving us that gift. As we mature spiritually, by moving up the motivational levels and progressively manifesting more of the functional gifts, we discover and uncover more of who we are and who God is. Our true personhood can only be discovered in union with him in whom our true life is hidden (Col. 3:3).

Making It Work:

• In most healthy families, all or almost all of the gifts will be represented in the family as a group. Using the gift inventories you have completed, make a pie chart. Show how the gifts are distributed among the family members. Consider how this distribution of gifts affects the functioning of your family as a "body" (1 Cor. 12:12-26).
• Using your gift inventory, look closely at your gift mix. Carefully observe the gifts that fall outside the gift triad associated with your particular personality type. How do you think your gift blend affects you? How can you stimulate gifts other than your dominant and base gifts to grow?