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Christian Living

Family Matters

Parental Help for Kids Who Use Words to Wound

“You are an idiot and I hate you!”

“You make me sick! Loser!”

Parents are often disturbed when they listen to kids play on the school playground or in a group. Several have commented on the negative speech that comes out of their mouth and ask what they can do to correct this. Here are my thoughts...

Many years ago, George Washington’s sage advice was, “Speak not injurious words, neither in jest or earnest.” Unfortunately, there is a great deal of media—music lyrics, TV sitcoms, and more that promote disrespect and encourage gossip, slander and cut downs of others. And if kids hear adults speak this way at home, they will imitate it.
     
The tongue is one of the most powerful parts of the body (James 3) and the Bible provides guidelines for our speech. So the importance of bridling our tongues and making our speech acceptable to God is very important for children to learn early in life. You could address the importance of uplifting speech in Sunday School, Children’s Church or even in a parent meeting or training of child workers. Definitely, address this at home.         

Here are the principles you should cover:

1) The Bible instructs us to love others as ourselves. Our words are a reflection of our heart. We are to be motivated in all our actions and words by love (1 Corinthians 13). Believe God’s best about others and in love, encourage and build up one another.

2) Our tongues are made for worship, prayer, blessing others and the Lord (James 3:9-10).

3) Words hurt (Proverbs 18:8). Discuss the impact of hurtful words.

4) Teach children not to give other children the power to define who they are. Instead, teach them to look to the God to find their identity.

5) Even though others hurt with words, we do not retaliate (Proverbs 15:1; 1 Peter 3:9-10). Our culture encourages revenge, but that is not God’s way.

6) Always try to think before you speak (Proverbs 29:10). Words spoken in haste can’t be taken back and can damage relationships. If you do speak an unkind word, be quick to apologize and ask for forgiveness.

7) Discuss the words of Ephesians 4:29, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the heavens.”

When kids slip and are unkind, teach them to ask God for forgiveness and apologize to the person being hurt. Encourage children to think about how it would feel to be the recipient of such hurtful words. Then have them practice thinking of something positive about that person.

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