X

Christian Living

Family

Family Matters 08/28/15

Marital Difficulties? Five Reasons to See a Christian Therapist

Couples counseling

Mary and Jim are struggling in their marriage. They know they need to see a marital therapist, but haven’t been able to find a Christian. They ask: Does it matter if we see a Christian therapist or not?

So much of marriage and family therapy is based on a secular humanistic approach and not on the truths of Christianity. Here is why the worldview of a therapist matters:

1) Therapists who are Christian do not believe in the postmodern idea that truth is relative. Jesus is the Truth and He sets people free. His Word does not change as He is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8). We are guided by the truth of scripture, not the cultural think of the day.

2) Everything we do is seen through a Christian lens. Thus, there is no separation between the secular and sacred, faith or reason, the spiritual or natural. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do EVERYTHING, in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him (Colossians 3:17).

3) Therapists who are Christian believe in sin and that sin can be a root of problems. Other people believe in the goodness of man and have no place for a sin doctrine. The belief that man is ultimately good and not in need of a Savior impacts the way we think and behave and is an important difference in the approach to problems. Sometime repentance is needed.

4) Therapists who are Christian hold to a covenant view of marriage versus a contract only view.
This view that two become one and that marriage is a sacrament of the church is important to the way couples approach marital problems. A covenant is an unbreakable promise, whereas a contract is breakable if one party is not getting as much as is given by the other.

5) Therapists who are Christian see forgiveness as a command, not something you do if you feel like it or think the other person deserves it. We were forgiven by God when we didn't deserve it and He commands us to do the same with each other. Forgiveness marks the life of a Christian and is offered liberally.

Probably the most importance difference in employing a Christian therapist involves the power of prayer and the belief that all things are possible with Christ. When a marriage looks hopeless, God can do miraculous things and change hearts. 

So if you are a Christian couple looking for a therapist to help your marriage, find a therapist who shares your faith. Several sites, such as Focus on the Family and the American Association for Christian Counselors, have referral information. The worldview of the therapist shapes the direction of therapy and is important.

For help with marital conflict, check out Dr. Linda’s latest book, We Need to Talk: How to Successfully Navigate Conflict.

Give Now