Mommy and the Joyful Three 03/14/11
The recent tragedy in Japan may have left you wondering how much to share with your children about the events. How can we explain what has happened without scaring them even more?
Life is full of natural and man-made disasters; it is nearly impossible for your children to avoid hearing about or seeing it at some point. And it can be hard to determine the best way to talk about frightening news with them. Even if they just catch a small glimpse of the news, it can leave them with anxiety and insecurity. Watching people face disaster and trauma will surely impact them, so it is our job to help ease fears and answer questions.
Of course, the “right” age to talk to your child is up to you. Personally, I feel it is best to start when they begin to show an interest in the news and world events or if they happen to overhear or see something that they may be confused or scared about.
At just three years old, my youngest daughter has already asked me some tough questions. I’ve learned that not explaining things well can make her fears even worse.
Here are useful tips when it comes to helping your child understand some of the scary events they may have seen, heard about, or even imagined.
Pray with them
Prayer is the first thing you should do when it comes to easing your child’s fears. Talking it out with God will help them feel at peace. Also, it will show them that the Lord is where their strength and hope and help come from.
Share just the basics
Do not go into the grim facts of what has taken place. It is not important for them to know the detailed facts. Just share about the event. If it is a tsunami your child has questions about, let them know what one is, but not all that it can cause. Simply say may people are hurt, but others are trying to get them help and that God is with them. Discuss life; do not focus on death.
Let them tell you what they saw
Allowing them to explain what they heard or watched on television will allow you to get a good idea of how much they have taken in and what you should discuss. Dialogue with your kids. Ask them to tell you about the times they feel the safest and what makes them feel that way. This will keep their minds on the reality around them at the moment not the panic far away.
Reassure them
Even if you are scared yourself, it is important to let them know that they are safe. There is no reason to expose your fears or feelings. If the disaster is far away, use a map to show them where you are in relation to the tragedy. Read Bible verses with them about how God is with us and will protects us.
Have them help
My daughter drew pictures for the children in Japan. These pictures were full of smiles and hearts; and we plan to send them to hospitals in the disaster area. Encourage them to focus on doing chores to earn money they can donate to a reputable charity that is helping those affected. They also can collect food and clothing to help victims of disasters. Helping shows them how important it is to lend a hand in times of need. It also takes their minds off of the tragedy and puts it to helping the recovery effort.
Be there
Just being there for a hug and a listening ear is critical. Reassure your child that if they have more questions or fears, they can come to you any time and you will listen. Sometimes just talking about things can ease worries and help them process difficult information.
These are just a few tips to help your child during a time of crisis. If you have some to share, I’d love to hear about them.
Discussing Tragic Events with Your Children
The recent tragedy in Japan may have left you wondering how much to share with your children about the events. How can we explain what has happened without scaring them even more?
Life is full of natural and man-made disasters; it is nearly impossible for your children to avoid hearing about or seeing it at some point. And it can be hard to determine the best way to talk about frightening news with them. Even if they just catch a small glimpse of the news, it can leave them with anxiety and insecurity. Watching people face disaster and trauma will surely impact them, so it is our job to help ease fears and answer questions.
Of course, the “right” age to talk to your child is up to you. Personally, I feel it is best to start when they begin to show an interest in the news and world events or if they happen to overhear or see something that they may be confused or scared about.
At just three years old, my youngest daughter has already asked me some tough questions. I’ve learned that not explaining things well can make her fears even worse.
Here are useful tips when it comes to helping your child understand some of the scary events they may have seen, heard about, or even imagined.
Pray with them
Prayer is the first thing you should do when it comes to easing your child’s fears. Talking it out with God will help them feel at peace. Also, it will show them that the Lord is where their strength and hope and help come from.
Share just the basics
Do not go into the grim facts of what has taken place. It is not important for them to know the detailed facts. Just share about the event. If it is a tsunami your child has questions about, let them know what one is, but not all that it can cause. Simply say may people are hurt, but others are trying to get them help and that God is with them. Discuss life; do not focus on death.
Let them tell you what they saw
Allowing them to explain what they heard or watched on television will allow you to get a good idea of how much they have taken in and what you should discuss. Dialogue with your kids. Ask them to tell you about the times they feel the safest and what makes them feel that way. This will keep their minds on the reality around them at the moment not the panic far away.
Reassure them
Even if you are scared yourself, it is important to let them know that they are safe. There is no reason to expose your fears or feelings. If the disaster is far away, use a map to show them where you are in relation to the tragedy. Read Bible verses with them about how God is with us and will protects us.
Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6
Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, give I to you. Don’t let your heart be troubled, neither let it be fearful John 14:27
Have them help
My daughter drew pictures for the children in Japan. These pictures were full of smiles and hearts; and we plan to send them to hospitals in the disaster area. Encourage them to focus on doing chores to earn money they can donate to a reputable charity that is helping those affected. They also can collect food and clothing to help victims of disasters. Helping shows them how important it is to lend a hand in times of need. It also takes their minds off of the tragedy and puts it to helping the recovery effort.
Be there
Just being there for a hug and a listening ear is critical. Reassure your child that if they have more questions or fears, they can come to you any time and you will listen. Sometimes just talking about things can ease worries and help them process difficult information.
These are just a few tips to help your child during a time of crisis. If you have some to share, I’d love to hear about them.
About This Blogger
Erin James is a freelance writer, mother of three, and author of CBN.com's Mommy blog.