Loving Your Children for Who They Are

Each of my children have vastly different personalities. They surprise me sometimes with their individuality.

I have blogged many times about my youngest daughter Myley; she is a very strong willed and complex child. My cousin has a child very similar to her. Recently, we were discussing how some days their personalities can be the ultimate test in parenting with patience.

At times, it feels like I have to rework my day around Myley’s mood. I have to use different tactics in discipline and in the way I handle situations with her.

Some days, I emotionally have to prepare for battle with her. I have to stand firm and strong in my rules and guidance. Some days, I am defeated and others, I win, but on all days I love my daughter.

This to me is what is most important: guiding your children with the love of God and loving them for who they are as they grow.

As parents we must use our judgment and knowledge to raise our children. Yet if we are not careful, our judgment can cause us to push our children away. God loves us unconditionally and this is how we are meant to love the children He blesses us with.

I struggled as a child and Myley is often similar to the little girl I once was. I had some amazing people who loved me for who I was, but I also suffered the harsh judgment of some who were most important to me.

This can really harm a child’s self-esteem. If you are not showing your child that you appreciate them the way God made them, they can start to seek acceptance from the wrong people.

My oldest daughter is not strong willed in the least. She complies with rules and is cool, calm and collected. I am always very proud of her and the way she handles situations. That does not mean however, that I love her more than Myley.

In fact, Myley’s strong will can be an asset if we can teach her how to put it to good use. She has amazing drive and even her small accomplishments and progress make me beam with pride just as much as my older daughter’s consistent good behavior does.

I love my daughters during their best moments and their worst. I know Myley was born with fight in her; it is a trait that God gave her. We don’t avoid disciplining her when she does something wrong; it just means that she knows that we love her always and that when we correct her it is out of love and concern.

We do not compare our children to each other. If Sage cleans her room and it only takes her an hour, but Myley takes the whole day to do her chore, we do not point out that Sage does things faster and has an easier time. We simply accept that each child has different strengths.

Some children can handle a straight and narrow path mode of parenting; some have detours. Some children will naturally take you down a stressful road at times. The most important part is loving them and showing them that you will always, no matter what, be there for them to turn to and trust. It is vital that your children can depend on you for the love they need and to show them that God loves them and created them the way they are with a purpose.

Focus on each of your children as individuals. If one of your children struggles in math but thrives in art, help them do the best they can with the area they struggle in but encourage the gift that God gave them.

God gave us our children to love and raise, not to judge and condemn. Take their hand and guide them, but do not push or pull them in directions they are not able to or meant to go.

What are some of the struggles that you face with your children?