Am I My Brother’s Keeper?

Like so many of you, I was deeply saddened by the death of Whitney Houston. She was an immense talent whose music will live on and continue to inspire and move us. Saturday, she will be laid to rest at New Hope Baptist Church in Newark, New Jersey, the church that birthed those rich and melodic tones of her voice.  Our prayers are with her family during this difficult time.

As we wait to hear the results of the autopsy for cause of death, we know what could be coming. Whitney made it no secret that she struggled with addiction to alcohol, cocaine, marihuana and prescription drugs. On numerous TV talk shows, she openly discussed wrestling with those demons. In May 2011, she was again admitted to rehabilitation.  She, like so many others raised in the church, found herself pulled into the dark world of addiction by her choices and the people with whom she surrounded herself. 

Overcoming addiction demands taking personal responsibility. One has to admit to the problem, want help and surrender to God. And in that process, the people who love and care about the addict have to exercise tough love and not enable the behavior.

The music industry enables.

Enablers allow the addict to avoid real consequences of continued using by protecting them. When Houston, like so many other performers, launched her comeback a few years ago, signs of distress were present. Yet the music industry seems to turn a blind eye to performers who struggle with addiction and almost glamorize it as part of the artistic struggle and creative process. People are allowed to perform altered. They are seen actively engaging in the addictive process at parties and events. Accountability is lacking.

And what about the church?

Living in a postmodern culture, people are often reluctant to step in and confront those who are self-destructing. The post-modern thinking is that everyone has a right to do whatever he or she chooses. We no longer talk about sin and when we do, we are accused of being judgmental. “It’s not my business” or “Am I my brother’s keeper?” are often heard outside the walls of the sanctuary.

Jesus makes it clear. Whoever has a need is our neighbor. When you love someone, you can’t ignore his or her descent into darkness. You can’t stop praying or give up on that person because Jesus doesn’t. But you also don’t excuse, turn a blind eye, refuse to set limits and allow the person to operate as if nothing is wrong.

So I ask the question, has the church grown soft in confronting self-destruction? Do we enable those in addiction by covering up for them, turning a blind eye and blaming their behavior on stress and other ills?

Besides the incredible sorrow I feel for Whitney’s family, her death has also caused me to ask the question in my own surroundings. Who is in need? And when I see someone in need, am I guilty of saying, “It’s not my problem.”

Dr. Linda Mintle is a best-selling author, national speaker, blogger and licensed marriage and family therapist. For more, visit her website at www.drlindahelps.com.